Collaboration Post: Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I am so excited to be collaborating with Nadine from Home of Understanding! We both started blogging just this year, and our blogs cover very similar topics. She’s incredibly creative and full of ideas! Her blog is amazing and you should definitely read her other posts! Give her a visit here. Nadine offered the idea of collaborating after we visited each other’s blogs, and I jumped on the opportunity! She told me she’s been thinking of writing about body image issues for a while, and mentioned the idea of writing about what often goes through a person’s mind as he or she looks at him/herself through a mirror. We both agreed it’s an amazing idea, and started working on the project right away! For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with developing a positive self image. There have been many times when I’ve looked in the mirror and saw so many things I would like to change. For this collaboration, we are exploring the voice of self loathing, or “the devil”, that we often hear in our heads when judging ourselves, and the “angel”, whose uplifting voice is often ignored. Our goal through this project is to help our readers realize that you are perfect the way you are. Don’t listen to your inner ”devil” thoughts. Focus on the voice of the “angel”, and embrace your unique beauty. 

The voice of the “Devil”:

There are so many flaws to point out. When are you going to lose all that weight? Maybe you can skip a meal today. Look at all those blemishes on your face. You shouldn’t go outside without makeup. Your chest and rear end are so small. Maybe you should consider implants. Your nose is a funny shape. You should consider getting that fixed too. You also need to work on getting in control of the pimples on your thighs and the hair on your arms. Plus, it would be nice if you could do something about that curved back of yours. That’s not attractive. Beauty is important to a woman, and can get her far. Don’t hesitate to do what’s needed for you to be considered beautiful. 

Can you relate to those words? Do you find yourself saying similar comments about your appearance whenever you look into the mirror? Visit Nadine’s Post,  Body Image – A Dialogue to read what the “angel” has to say.

Five Facts about Body Image Issues and Mental Health

– The term for when someone obsesses over perceived flaws in his or her appearance is called Body Dysmorphia. It is considered an official psychological disorder. Bjornsson, Andri S, et al.

– Body Dysmorphia was called dysmorphophobia when it was first documented. The name was changed to Body Dysmorphia in 1987, the same year it was recognized as an official  psychological condition. 17 Scarey Body Dysmorphic Disorder Statistics

– Before television was introduced in the country of Fiji in the 1990s there were no documented cases of eating disorders. Sixty five teenage girls were followed for three years for a study during the introduction of television in the country. Around twelve percent of the girls developed eating disorder symptoms 1 month into the study, and around 29% developed symptoms after 3 years. The Body Project: Facilitator Fact Sheet

– In the United States, around 2.5% in males, and in 2.2 % of females, have BDD. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

– In the United States, January is Mental Wellness Month, May is Mental Health Month, and the first week of October is Mental Illness Awareness Week. World Mental Health Day is October 10. Who We Are.

Sources

“17 Scarey Body Dysmorphic Disorder Statistics.” HRF, 4 Sept. 2014, healthresearchfunding.org/scarey-body-dysmorphic-disorder-statistics/.

Bjornsson, Andri S, et al. “Body Dysmorphic Disorder.” Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, Les Laboratoires Servier, June 2010, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181960/.

“Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).” Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA, adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd.

“The Body Project: Facilitator Fact Sheet.” Http://Www.bodyprojectsupport.org/, www.bodyprojectsupport.org/assets/pdf/materials/facilitator_fact_sheet.pdf.

“Who We Are.” Minding Your Mind, mindingyourmind.org/news-events/mental-health-awareness-calendar

My Father, My Superhero

When Avengers: End Game was released a relative of mine went to a theater right away to watch it. After seeing it, he couldn’t help bragging about seeing the movie before me. Avengers: End Game marks the end of a phase for the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe). Many of the super heroes we’ve enjoyed watching will not be returning to the big screen, or at least not anytime soon. Watching the these characters be brought to life by talented actors and actresses has been amazing, however, there is one person in my life who is my superhero. 

If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you might have noticed that I mention my father quite often. We have a very close relationship. Yes, I am very much I daddy’s girl. My father was still quite young when he had me, and was still trying build himself up. However, my father still managed to give me one of the most important things a parent can ever give his or her child: time. Many nights my Dad stayed up late trying to calm me after a nightmare despite how busy he was. I have many wonderful memories of my Dad and I enjoying each other’s company while watching a movie, or spending time at a park. Any events I can’t remember were captured in pictures. My father never failed to be around and have a camera ready during special or spontaneous moments. Anytime I felt was in any type of trouble (feeling sick while at school or being bullied) I was able to reach him anytime, and just like a superhero he was by my side in a flash. My father never failed to make me feel safe and loved. I wanted to be just like him when I reached adulthood myself, and be the type of parent to any future children I might have that he was to me. I don’t know how my father managed, and that’s why he was, and still is, my superhero. Here’s what others have to say about their fathers/superheroes:

Dayma Garcia – Motivational, Lifestyle, and Mental Health Blogger at Women Undefined

My dad has been more there for me when it has really counted, whenever I have been in any rut he’s the one that has gotten me out, I don’t have many memories of my childhood with him but when it mattered, he was there, I love him & wouldn’t change anything

Raheela James –  Business and Lifestyle Blogger at Mommy’s Business 101

When I was 15 we escaped the Gulf War. My Dad brought 30 people out of Kuwait by his courage and his smarts. Every other man there was scared and lost and no idea what to do and looked to my Dad for guidance. I don’t think we would have made it out without him and God’s help.

Gina – Lifestyle and Travel Blogger at CultureBean

“He knows how to make me laugh. That’s the remedy to so many things. We have the same sense of humor and can talk for days. Then there’s general life hacks like fixing my flat and (the biggie) my car e.t.c.” 😂

Sandra Morgan – Personal Blogger at Chatting with San

“Oh I wish my dad and my grand daddy where still alive.  I was surely a daddy baby!”  🥰🥰🥰

Lisa Mitchell – Lifestyle and Book Review Blogger at Fluxing Well

“My dad is a superhero because, despite the pain he is in from multiple joint replacements, he’s always positive and encouraging to others.”🌻

Stephanie – Lifestyle and Mental Health Blogger at A Red Hair Girl

“My dad always seems to be able to fix everything. Mr. Fixit, we call/called him. He also has a great sense of humor and it’s fun to spend time with him!”  

Millie – Lifestyle and Book Review Blogger at MSB Life 

“My Dad is a superhero to me because prompted me to think differently about things but also the stories he would make up for us and the jokes – those are things you never forget” 🙂

Melissa Temple – Travel and Disability Blogger at Disabled Disney

“My dad wasn’t my hero per se! But I have pretty severe depression and anxiety and he was the only person who could calm me down. He passed away in 2007. I miss him so much!”

Emma – Lifestyle and Disability Blogger at Dyspraxic Domesticated Mummy

“I never really knew my Dad growing up. In fact Fathers Day is tough one for me. My first son died and his funeral was the day after Father’s Day. My husband carried our son’s coffin. My husband is superman. He is the strongest man I know carrying his sons coffin” x

Eunice Tossy – Lifestyle and Christian Blogger at A Bible Girl

“Mine died when I was 3.. 21 years ago”

Steve Biggs – Travel Blogger at Biggsy Travels 

“How about my dad Roger Biggs who’s run 911 marathons!!! And was the first Brit to run a marathon in every single US state 👍 NB.”

Abbey – Lifestyle and Mental Health Blogger at Abbey’s Chronicles 

“He is the reason and motivation behind everything I do..  He has given me everything I could ever wish for and the love, care and trust is incomparable”

Grace – Travel Blogger at Traveling the World of the Olympics

“Absolutely was my hero! One of my recent posts is about what I inherited from him, ‘Having a Athlete for a Father, Was I Destined to Work in the Olympic Movement?

Liz – Lifestyle Blogger and Influencer at Mummy Overload

“My step was my super hero…. He was always there when I needed him and called me his little Chelsea girl. We did everything together. Holidays where the best with him and he was so funny. Used to do all these little silly things. He was also the best grandad ever. He passed away 6 years ago but will always be my superhero”

Chocoviv – Lifestyle Blogger at Gogo Bags

“Inspired me to use the tool box to build stuff!”

Munashe Chakaonda – Personal Blogger at In Her Thoughts

“Although I don’t much about him because he passed on when I was really young. The idea of him is home, it gives me comfort and security. He is still my super hero because I know no matter how I turned out he would have been proud of me.”

Mama Robbins – Lifestyle Blogger at Mama Robbins Series | An Undistracted Life

“He always wanted me to help him build things. No matter what it was. Wheelbarrow, bbq, shed, or shelves. He always let me help.” 🙂

Elissa Renee – Personal Blogger and Art Blogger at By Love Elissa

“Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

Sydney Telling – Web Communications Officer and Influencer

Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/Sydneytelling1

“I have an incredible Step Dad who’s been in my life since I was 2, I’m quite lucky”. 😃

Nicola – Blogger and Writer at A Rambling Collective

“You don’t need to lose any weight, you look lovely…you’ll feel better about it tomorrow, and I don’t know why I bother, so come and give your old dad a kiss.”

Excerpt from “I Love My Dad

Ashley – Lifestyle Blogger at The Irish Twin’s Mama

“My dad worked really hard to provide for my twin sister and I as a single parent. He tried to make every event but sometimes work made him miss it. When I think back though he did the best he could to provide everything and more for us. He is now doing the same for his grandchildren.”

Thankyou for all of your touching contributions about your fathers! I and my contributors hope everyone reading this post enjoys father’s day! If you are a father, whether you’re a biological father, step father, adoptive father, god father, foster father, or a father figure, Happy Father’s Day from all of us!

The Sunshine Blogger Award: Part 2

I’ve been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award again! I feel so blessed and honored! This time the nomination comes from fellow blogger Catherine Mellen! I decided to do a separate post for this one to keep my previous Sunshine Blogger post from being too long. It also gives me a chance to pass the honor on to even more fellow bloggers! Catherine Mellen is a personal blogger. The purpose of her blog, Shatter the Silence/A Life Given to Me, is for her to share traumatic experiences from her childhood. Her message is you don’t have to be ashamed of what you’ve been through, and do not let anyone keep you from telling your truth. Get to know her and read her story here.

About the Sunshine Blogger Award

The Sunshine Blogger Award is an award given by bloggers to their peers to honor fellow bloggers who inspire and spread positivity through their blogs. 

Rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blogging site.
  2. List the Sunshine Blogger Award rules and display the logo on your site
  3. Answer the Sunshine Blogger Award questions.
  4. Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  5. Notify the nominees about their nominations 

Questions from Catherine Mellen

  1.  How often do you navigate to other Blogs & do you interact? 

I interact very often with other bloggers actually! I also visit many other blogs too! For bloggers, supporting each other is key! Plus, I enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them through their blogs!

2) Do your love ones support your Blog? 

I don’t talk all that much about my blog with my friends and family. I’m too shy to! My friends and family don’t read my blog posts or give likes or comments, but but the ones who do know about my blog give lots of encouragement, and listen to me talk about my blog (I bragged a lot about this sunshine blogger award)!

3) Are you embarrassed of your Blog? 

Not at all! The very opposite actually! I’m very proud of my blog! I hesitated when starting my blog, because I wasn’t completely sure how comfortable I would feel sharing some of the things I’ve shared in my posts. That’s the closest I’ve come to embarrassment. However, I’m very glad I went through with starting a blog, and I’m am so happy with the wonderful feedback I’ve been getting so far! The support from the blogging community is beyond amazing!

4) If you had a choice to Blog for life or publish one book for life… Which would you choose? 

Hard! Very hard! I can’t choose! If I really had to choose one though, I would probably pick to blog for life. Can I cheat and write a little about any stories I might write on my blog? I don’t have to publish them! I just want people to know they exist! 

5) Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall? 

Winter please! The spring and fall seasons are too erratic! One day it’s too warm, the next day it’s cool. One day it’s sunny, the next day it’s raining. I can’t deal with that! Winter and summer are consistent. Winter is always cold, and summer is always hot. There’s normally no second guessing the weather! I can’t handle the heat though, so winter it is!

6) Wine or Weed?  Can’t be both 

Interesting question! I’ve actually never had any of either! 

7) How many websites do you share your Blog too? 

I actually I have several social media accounts for my blog. However, I’ve been focusing on Pinterest, Facebook and a Twitter.

8) How often do you Blog? 

I don’t have a set blogging schedule yet. I’m still working that. So far I’ve been putting out around two posts per month, but mostly my posting pattern has been a bit erratic. 

9) Favorite Blogging Platform? 

As in my favorite site to for publishing my posts? Since becoming a blogger I’ve heard of several platforms, however, the ones I know best are blogger and WordPress. I started my blogging journey on blogger, but blogger wasn’t working for me. I decided to move to WordPress, and I’m so glad I did! My blogging experience improved instantly after the switch!

10) Do you agree 11 questions are too many? 🤣

😂 Well, it definitely helps give the post some length! 

11) Any summer fun plans? 

Not really! I just plan on relaxing and having fun! I’m not looking forward to the heat though!

My Nominees 

It’s my pleasure to pass this honor on to even more amazing bloggers! Here are my second set of nominees!

  1. La Frieda Smith – MMM of Family Entertainment
  2. Doctor’s Orders – Doctor’s Orders
  3. The Comic Vault – The Comic Vault
  4. Devinder Maan – Fabulous Fifty Five 
  5. Dayma – Women Undefined
  6. Romani Sanchez – Sanchez Proofreading
  7. Camilla – Northern Fairytales 
  8. The Godly Chick Diaries – The Godly Chick Diaries 
  9. Jamie – Chasing the Lions 
  10. K.C. – Live the Frugal Life
  11. Michelle – Garden of Aquarius

My Questions 

  1. Which of your blog posts is your favorite?
  2. What is your favorite color?
  3. What is your favorite food? 
  4. Do you have a secret talent?
  5. Which season (spring, winter, summer, fall) is your favorite?
  6. What song would be your theme or anthem?
  7. Who is your favorite celebrity? 
  8. Do you have a favorite book? 
  9. Do you have a favorite movie?
  10. Do you have a tv show you’re binging on right now?
  11. Is the one thing you love most about blogging?

The Sunshine Blogger Award: Part 1

I’ve been nominated! This time it’s for the Sunshine Blogger Award! I am so honored! I was nominated by fellow bloggers Kimberly Leatherwood and Jess Ling! Thank-you so much ladies! Both Kimberly and Jess are lifestyle bloggers and their blogs cover a variety of topics. The main characteristic of their blogs is that they share what their passions are at the moment and their adventures. They’re enjoying life and taking their readers on a nice ride with them! Their blogs are fun to explore, so definitely check them out! Get to know Kimberly Leatherwood at her blog All in with Kimmie L. Get to know Jess Ling at her blog Jerserry

About the Sunshine Blogger Award

The Sunshine Blogger Award is an award given by bloggers to their peers to honor fellow bloggers who inspire and spread positivity through their blogs. 

Rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blogging site.
  2. List the Sunshine Blogger Award rules and display the logo on your site
  3. Answer the Sunshine Blogger Award questions.
  4. Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  5. Notify the nominees about their nominations 

Questions from Kimberly Leatherwood

  1. What is the number one thing on your bucket list?

To do a little traveling! I don’t really travel. Not even around my own country (the U.S.), so I might like to travel around the U.S., and I would also like to do a little international traveling.

2. Why did you start blogging?

Blogging was always something I wanted to do. I just never had the time. I started slowing down this year, and decided I wanted to finally start a blog. I’m so glad I did!

3. What is your dream car?

I don’t really have a favorite car model!

4. If you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be and why?

Maybe Spain or Costa or Costa Rica. I’ve been trying to learn some Spanish, so I would love to visit one of those countries and stay there for a little while to become a little more fluent.

5. What is your favorite holiday? Why?

It’s between Christmas and Thanksgiving! I’m leaning a little towards more thanksgiving! I love the feeling the Christmas holiday brings. However, thanksgiving is the holiday that’s most special to my family. We are always so busy, so it’s often very hard for us to come together and spend quality time with each other. Thanksgiving is that one special time when we put our busy schedules aside.

6. If you could sit down for one hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

This is hard! Wow! If I have to choose though, I would pick James McAvoy. I love him! I would be so nervous that the hour would probably seem so long, but he is so funny so he would probably make all the butterflies go away by making me laugh!

7. What is your motto or favorite quote?

I love “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. It teaches that beauty is subjective, and what one person sees as unattractive might be seen as beautiful to another. That’s the whole idea behind art. If something is deemed as art to someone who sees it, it is art. It is also why every person is beautiful. Beauty can be found in everyone.

8. Are you a dog person, cat person, or something else?

I don’t have any pets, but I honestly love both cats and dogs! If I had to choose though, I would say i’m dog person. 

9. What is the best gift you have ever received

This pretty hard! I’ve received many lovely and thoughtful gifts! If I really have to choose though, I would say a book that my Dad bought for me one Christmas. What was really special was the note he placed inside the book for me. He told me how much he appreciated me and to never change. That meant a lot to me!

10. What is one thing you would like to learn to do?

I would love to be able to speak Spanish fluently!

11. What is one little-know fact about you?

I can play a little piano!

Questions from Jess Ling

  1. How do you spend your free time?

I mostly spend time reading or with my family.

2. What are your top three favorite books and why?

Right now I’m reading Becoming by Michelle Obama. I’m really enjoying it! Another book I loved was Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand. Last, but in no way least, the Bible!

3. What are you most afraid of?

Heights!

4. What is your strongest personal quality?

I’d like to think that I’m a pretty empathetic person and that is my strongest personal quality. I like to let others judge these things for themselves though! 

5. If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be?

Very interesting question! I would probably go to the past and witness the creation of the world. I’ll leave the future a mystery!

6. What job do you think you’d be really good at?

A job that involves helping the public such as a social worker or teacher.

7. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?

Hard question! I’m not really sure! There are so many great stories out there, but I would never want to live in any of those universes! I am happy right where I am! 

8. Are you usually early or late?

Definitely an early bird! 

9. What do you wish you knew more about?

Good question! I love learning! There is so much to learn, and even when formal education is over you don’t stop learning. What do I wish I knew more about though? I don’t really know how to answer. There’s so much I want to learn, and no where near enough time!

10. What is your best childhood memory?

Hard! I have many! If I had to pick one though, I would say when I got to be a part of a bridal party at a wedding.  

11. What do you feel most proud of?

Right now I’m very proud of my blog and my accomplishments with it so far. 

My Nominees

I came across many wonderful blogs deserving of this honor, but I can only choose eleven! Here are the eleven blogs I chose! They are all wonderful, so do give them a look!

1. Savannah Nelson – Sunshine with Savannah

2. Dimi – Monkey’s Travel

3. Nadine – Home of Understanding 

4. Kelly – Mindfully Mad

5. Michelle – Blessings by Me

6. Sandra Morgan – Chatting with San

7. Natasha – Grateful Grumbles

8. Lloyd Stevens – My Food and Drink Lifestyle

9. Amanda Romero – Behind a Smart and Girly Mindset

10. Jeanne – My Perpetual Project

11. Myworldmyrules – The World of an Autistic, Dyslexic, with Depression and Spinal Problems 

My Questions 

  1. Which of your blog posts is your favorite?
  2. What is your favorite color?
  3. What is your favorite food? 
  4. Do you have a secret talent?
  5. Which season (spring, winter, summer, fall) is your favorite?
  6. What song would be your theme or anthem?
  7. Who is your favorite celebrity? 
  8. Do you have a favorite book? 
  9. Do you have a favorite movie?
  10. Do you have a tv show you’re binging on right now?
  11. Is the one thing you love most about blogging?

Teacher Appreciation Week

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. I had many wonderful teachers who had a huge role in shaping who I am today. However, if I had to pick one teacher who made the biggest impact in my life, I would have to pick my first grade teacher. Let’s call her Miss. Z.

When I was a child I had a terrible attention span. That’s the case for most children, but my attention span was short even for a child. I was easily distracted by anything. Instead of listening to my teacher, I would play with whatever might be in my hands, or I would turn my attention to what’s going on outside if I happened to be near a window. Sometimes it would be so bad that I would be daydreaming the whole class time and forget to write down the homework. My mother would get furious whenever that happened! Both my parents and teacher started to worry about me. Miss. Z started working on ways to help me, such as giving me extra attention. She also collaborated with my parents. For instance, she would have my parents sit in class with me. My parents also tried to do their part by helping me at home. Miss. Z suggested timing me while I did my homework, which is exactly what my parents did. Miss. Z recognized that I needed a lot of help, but she didn’t lower her expectations for me. She didn’t ignore my struggles, and believed that with help I could be just as successful as my peers.

All of the intervention helped. My attention span is still not great, but it has improved tremendously since elementary school. I am very grateful for Miss. Z. Here in the U.S., a teacher’s job is not easy, especially if the teacher is working in a public school. Many classrooms in public schools have classes with around 30 students. It is not easy to pay attention to that many children. Also, the work load can be very heavy. On top of planning  lessons the teacher has to grade the classroom assignments, homework assignments, projects, and tests of around 30 students. The teaching profession also doesn’t receive as much respect as some other professions. These are some of the few reasons many teachers here in America often leave the profession behind after a short while. In fact, statistics show that around 50 percent of new teachers leave the profession within their first five years, and around 52 percent of current American public school teachers have 10 or less years of teaching experience. 

However, teaching is a very significant profession. Pretty much every other profession starts with a teacher. Whatever profession a person is in he or she needed to learn how to do his or her job, and the person who taught him or her was a teacher. Also, a teacher’s job is not just to teach. In the case of children, the teacher is like a second parent, and spends the most time with his or her students outside of the parents. It is the teacher’s job to pay close attention to the students and notice anything out of the ordinary. A child may be going through abuse at home, or might have a disability (the latter was the case for me), and it is part of a teacher’s job to catch these possibilities. If a child is struggling at home or is struggling with a disability, the child will also struggle to learn. 

Despite all the hardships that come along with the teaching profession, my teacher Miss. Z still managed to notice my struggles, and give me the attention I needed to overcome them. I appreciate her and teachers like her who genuinely care about their students and take their jobs seriously. To all teachers here in the U.S. and around the world, Happy Teacher’s Appreciation Week! 

Source

Facts about the Teaching Profession for a National Conversation about Teaching. United States of America Department it Education, https://www2.ed.gov/documents/respect/teaching-profession-facts.doc

The Blogger Recognition Award: The Importance of Telling your Story

What is important is not so much what is told…but but rather that telling occurs.

Mark Sanders

I was recently nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award by fellow blogger Mama Robbins! Thankyou so much Mama Robbins! Our jobs are necessary, but it is important to have a balance between work and leisure. Laziness can have a negative impact on your life, but so can overworking. Social media can affect you negatively as well if you give your accounts too much of your time. It’s said that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Sometimes it can be difficult to balance your time on social media, time with family, time with friends, and time on work (your job and household duties). Mama Robbins’ blog, Mama Robbins Series- An Undistracted Life, covers all these issues. Helping her readers build time management and goal setting skills while helping them to appreciate the special people in their lives is the purpose of Mama Robbins’ blog. Take a look at her lovely blog with this link: http://mamarobbinsseries.ca

About the Blogger Recognition Award:

The Blogger Recognition Award is an online award given by bloggers to other bloggers. It is a way to recognize the work of other bloggers, and award them for the work they put into putting out blog posts. It is definitely hard work, so I’m very honored to be receiving this award! 

Rules:

  1. Thank the nominator, and publish a post on your blog about receiving the Blogger Recognition Award. Make sure to provide a link to the nominator’s blog in your post.
  2. Give a brief story of how your blog started. 
  3. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  4. Nominate 10-15 other bloggers for this award, and inform them of their nomination.

The Story of Life with Charli

Sometime when I was in elementary school, I was given my first diary. That’s when I realized how much I enjoy writing. I loved writing down my thoughts, and I found that I express myself more easily through writing than speaking. Not long after receiving my first diary, I heard of Jewish diarist Anne Frank. I got a chance to read her diary when I was in middle school, and was so moved by her story. She wanted to be a writer, and I’m sure she would have made a wonderful one had she gotten the opportunity. Her style of writing and describing her surroundings and feelings were beautiful. I even tried to imitate her style in my own diary. It didn’t quite work out, and I eventually developed my own style of writing, though Anne Frank’s diary is still inspiration. Today, many survivors of the holocaust travel around the world to share their experiences. Their stories are important parts of history. We never know how important our stories are, and how they might impact someone else’s life. With our experiences, we can let someone know they’re not alone in whatever situation they’re going through, help someone learn something new, or help others view a situation from a different perspective. This was my reason for starting Life with Charli. After spending some time writing in my diary and reading blog posts, I decided I wanted to start a blog of my own to share my experiences. I eventually searched ways to start one, but life prevented me from getting a blog up and running. This year, I managed to slow down a little bit and find time to do something I’ve always wanted to do. So far, I’ve gotten wonderful feedback on my blog, that includes this award nomination, and I feel as if my blog might be accomplishing the goals I set for it. It’s definitely an amazing feeling. 

Advice for New Bloggers

I’m a new blogger myself, as my blog has only been around for about two months, so this would be advice from one new blogger to another.

1. Patience is key! As a new blogger it will take time to learn all you need to know about building a successful blog. I’m still learning myself! When you start your blog you might have so many ideas in your head for blog posts, but before you start flooding your blog with posts take time to learn.  

 2. My second piece of advice is related to the first one. Take time to network in between blog posts. Take time to connect with your readers, network with other bloggers. This will help promote your blog and get you noticed. Your blog may be wonderful, and you may have great content, but no one would know if you don’t slow down to promote yourself.

My Nominees: 

Picking only 10-15 blogs to pass this honor on to out of all the wonderful blogs I’ve come across was difficult! However, here are my lovely nominees! Be sure give these blogs a look if you haven’t already!

1. Scottmanntnhttps://speakingbipolar.com/

2. Bookaholic Brittanyhttps://bookaholicbrittany.wordpress.com

3. Savannah Nelsonhttps://sunshinewithsavannah.com/

4. Natalka Antoniukhttp://iwanttobuyahouse.co.uk

5. Raheela Jameshttps://bizmom101.com

6. Disabled Disneyhttps://www.disableddisney.com/

7. Spencehttps://themindberg.com/

8. Lesley Skinnerhttps://doinglifewithhislight.com

9. Reid and Rachelhttps://randrwander.com

10. Emmahttps://simplyemsblog.wordpress.com

11. Jessica Carterhttps://welcometospanish1.com

12. Kemhttps://kemwritingfrom.home.blog/

13. Mayahttp://mayanirvana.co.uk

14. The Herstun Writerhttps://herstun.com

15. Sarah Wintonhttp://poutineandprada.com

Because Every day is Mother’s Day

When I was a small girl, I was told about a young woman whose house burst into flames. While trying to escape, the woman’s only concern was her infant daughter. The baby girl came out of the ordeal just fine. The woman was not as fortunate. She suffered severe burns from the fire that left terrible scars. As the baby girl grew older, she started to become ashamed of her mother. She always avoided carrying friends over to her house. Her mother eventually died one day, and it wasn’t until then when the girl realized how much she took her mother for granted. It wasn’t until then when she was reminded that her mother only had terrible scars because of her desire to protect her daughter. 

My parents told me that story, and it was was only one of many discussions I had with my parents that reminded me not to take anything precious in my life for granted. Another incident was when I was talking with my father while we were listening to the radio. A commercial for 1-800-flowers played suddenly, and after the commercial finished my father asked “Do you know when they make the most money outside of valentine’s day?” 

“No.” I answered.

“Mother’s day.” he said.

He went onto tell me that he would have to do his research to know if he was actually correct, but he was sure that mother’s day was one of the times in the year that brought in a lot of money for companies like 1-800-flowers. The reason he mentioned for this was he believes a lot of adults wait until Mother’s Day to show affection to their mothers. We are sometimes too busy to give any attention to our parents, so Mother’s Day is one of those special days to do so. However, even on Mother’s Day some of us wouldn’t set time aside to spend with our mothers. We would simply order some flowers from a company like 1-800-flowers, and have them sent to our mothers.

This new week marks the end of April, and Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Every day is Mother’s Day in my book. Here’s a little reminder to reach out and show some appreciation to the  mothers in our lives. If you are a mother reading this, whether you’re a biological mother, an adoptive mother, a step mother, or a foster mother, happy Mother’s Day from Life with Charli!

Christianity and Mental Health

Guest Submission by Lesley Skinner, Christian Blogger: visit her site and subscribe to her blog at https://doinglifewithhislight.com

Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/LesleyDlwhl

Facebook Page: https://m.facebook.com/doinglifewithhislight/

In any given year, 1 in 5 people in Canada will experience a mental health problem or illness (Canadian Mental Health Association, 2019). This means either yourself or someone you know has experienced mental health issues. Therefore, it is obvious Christians are not bypassed when it comes to the experience of mental health issues. The daily living mental health battles are very real for many Christians. Although similarities in the overall experience of mental health issues exists between Christians and Non- Christians, Christians do face unique challenges which can hinder their progress or help their progress towards managing and improving their mental health.

Stigma

When it comes to experiencing mental health issues something all people face is stigma. The Canadian Association of Mental Health says fear and misunderstanding often lead to prejudice against people with mental illness and addictions. Although it seems there are more campaigns in communities designed to decrease stigma and increase awareness about daily life challenges experienced by people who have mental health issues, the stigma surrounding persons who have mental health issues still exists. Unfortunately, education about mental health does not alter the thoughts and perceptions of all people in society and, therefore, stigma may always be a challenge faced by people experiencing mental health problems.

With regard to stigma, in contrast to non-believers, Christians may face a unique challenge. According to Pastor Stephen Altrogge in his article entitled “Is Mental Illness Considered Biblical?”, in the Christian world there are some people who believe mental health issues are not biblical. He explains the belief, for example, that being depressed is just the feeling of sadness and medical treatment defies the power of God to be sufficient in meeting your every need. Medical treatment for mental health issues is thought of as just a man made solution to a spiritual problem. Therefore, Christians feeling this stigma within their Christian circles will experience increased feelings of hopelessness, shame and this thinking can create a serious barrier for Christians to reach out for help and impact prompt diagnosis and treatment. Pastor Altrogge states, “If we’re going to effectively care for fellow Christians who struggle with mental illness, we need to recognize that mental illness is a real thing. We aren’t only souls. Rather, we are a complex composition of soul and body. Let’s make sure we address both the soul and the body.”

Spiritual Battle: A Closer Look

Mental illness is real and requires medical help just like any physical illness, but spiritual battles do exist and cannot be ignored. Someone once said to me, “Just as there is a positive and uplifting supernatural power supporting us and rooting for us on earth, we cannot forget there is also a negative supernatural power which exists to work against Gods plan for your life, to tear you down and destroy your destiny.” These words rang true to me and I am reminded of them every time depression creeps into my life.  I am reminded not to forget the spiritual battle that do exist between good and evil in every facet of our daily lives. In order to examine all things which can be influencing our mental health, we cannot leave out examining the fact a spiritual battle may be happening and influencing your thoughts in a negative and mind altering way.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I came that they may have life and have it abundantlyJohn 10:10

If you are a Christian and are working diligently for God, you can be rest assured you will experience spiritual battles in your life as the enemy seeks to steal your joy and give you mental unrest.

If you are a Christian and are working diligently for God, you can be rest assured you will experience spiritual battles in your life as the enemy seeks to steal your joy and give you mental unrest. Ephesians 6:12

Excessive and persistent negative thoughts and emotions is definitely a way the enemy can attack and try to stop you in your tracks. In the book “Battlefield of the Mind” by well known author Joyce Meyer, she says “The devil is a liar…He lies to you and me. He tells us things about ourselves, about other people and about circumstances that are just not true.”

The Christian awareness of how the enemy can attack our mind and affect our thoughts prompts us to reflect on this fact in times of mental unrest. This exploration and reflection helps the believer progress toward improving their mental health status.  Many people who are not in tune spiritually may never realize the possibility of a supernatural battle existing in their life and hence do not spend the time reflecting and taking action against it.

Spiritual Battle: Fighting Back

How do Christians know if the negative thoughts and feelings experienced could be due to spiritual warefare? The answer to this lies with spiritual intuition provided by the Holy Spirit. Spiritual decernment through teachings of the Lord and through the work of the Holy Spirit helps Christians recognize and respond appropriately to situations which are not of God and, therefore, distinguish good from evil.

But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil- Hebrews 5:14

This scripture teaches that just like a child develops to the point where they can eat solid food, Christian’s also develop and mature to be able to better distinguish good from evil with learning and practice. For example, in my experience living with depression, I have experienced attacks which, based on reflection, has been due to spiritual warfare. When I am on a roll for Christ by moving deeper in the Word, following God’s leading, and working on His behalf through different initiatives both inside and outside the church, I will experience an attack of the enemy -Guaranteed. I may not recognize it immediately, but when the realization does come, I immediately get to work to take back control of my thoughts and my mind. You see the enemy knows your every weakness and, in my situation, the knowledge my mental health is vulnerable to attack places it in the enemies direct line of fire. For me, in the beginning of my Christian experience with spiritual warefare, it would make me pull away from God because of how uncomfortable the push back from the dark side would make me feel. But through guidance from my pastors and through my own reading and research, I have learned steps to take to overcome enemy attack, put the devil in his place, and gain control of my emotions and thoughts. His intimidation tactics no longer keep me from moving forward in Christ because over time, through maturity and practice, I have learned to identify what’s happening, ways to push back and overcome the devils strongholds in my mind. Freedom from attack may not happen over night, but it happens just the same with persistence and when you come out the other side, the victory is glorious as the experience moves you closer to God and you grow further in your Christian walk.

Spiritual Battle: Weapons of Attack

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteouysness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. – Ephesians 6: 13-17

This scripture reminds us to focus on your salvation, your faith, Gods promises and His truths located in His Word, and use them as weapons of attack. In my experience, starting with prayer and a frank discussion with God about your thoughts and feelings followed by asking Him to intervene to assist you in overcoming your negative thoughts and negative emotions has to be the starting point. From there focusing on the truths and promises of God, listening to and singing worship songs either in my mind or out loud, are ways I use to fight my battles. Writing has also become my new outlet. Here are some uplifting scriptures great for meditation and reflection to help cast down every negative thought and bring them into alignment with Jesus Christ:

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak -Isaiah 40:29

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand -Isaiah 41:10

No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD – Isaiah 54:17

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future-Jeremiah 29:11

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go -Joshua 1:9

The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? -Psalm 27:1

There are many powerful and uplifting scriptures which can help remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you have a father who loves you unconditionally, and He is there with you at all times to help you win your battles and to strengthen and encourage you. The more you meditate on His Word the more you will be able to draw upon its strength it provides in times of trouble. Joyce Meyer said in her book, mentioned earlier, “Truth is one of the most powerful weapons against the kingdom of darkness. Truth is light, and the Bible says that darkness has never overpowered the light, and it never will. Satan wants to keep things hidden in darkness, but the Holy Spirit wants to bring them into the light and deal with them, so you and I can be truly and genuinely free.”

Supporting Christians. With Mental Health Issues: Suggestions for Support Persons

From my experience living with depression and experiencing cycles of depression for many years, I am going to share with you a few of my thoughts about how to best help a person who comes to you to open up and talk about their struggles. This is the strategy I have found most helpful:

  1. Develop Rapport: Instead of jumping right in and offering solutions, get to know the person and develop rapport. This will foster trust in the relationship and then the person, when you do start discussing solutions, will be more receptive to hearing them and will be more likely to follow through with suggestions. To develop rapport let the person know they are safe talking to you, you are interested in hearing all about everything which is bothering them and you are open to helping them figure out the next steps. Make sure when you talk you are in an environment where there are no distractions which can interrupt conversation and you have the time to sit, be attentive, and listen.
  2. Speak Truth into the Conversation: While you are actively listening to conversation, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you with the right words to say to speak truth into their life. Sometimes a person will need to be reminded: what they are feeling is ok, you are glad they reached out, no one on earth is free from facing challenges, and no matter what they are facing God loves them unconditionally and offers them redemption and forgiveness and help. If you are led to pray at any point during the conversation, do it. Follow your leading.
  3. Do not cause feeling of shame and guilt: In conversation with a person during the first 2 steps described above, it is imperative not to ask the questions: How is your prayer life lately? Have you been spending time with God? Have you been reading your bible lately? or make statements like: I noticed you haven’t been in church the last couple of Sundays, you know that not going to church is not a good coping strategy right? When someone is in a crisis situation which has prompted them to talk, the last thing you want to do is make them question their Christian walk and dredge up more shame and guilt. If this is a mental health issue like depression, for example, there may very well be well be well researched motivational issues affecting the persons ability to participate the way they would like in church, in their devotions, and in their prayer life so asking these questions does not help the persons self-esteem or their Christian walk. But encouraging the person to come to church for prayer and support the upcoming Sunday is a great approach in helping to motivate a person to stay connected to church and to God.
  4. Help them determine next steps: Once conversation has happened as suggested above, helping someone determine next steps might be a simple question, “So, what do you feel like your next steps should be?” People often jump into telling people what they think they should do instead of letting the Holy Spirit work through the conversation to give the person insight into what the next step in their journey should be. Often times, people will make their own plans for their next step and all you have to do is support their choice or help them to think more about the choices they are making if you feel they may not be headed in the right direction. Open ended questions like, “If you do x, do you think it will help you get to where you need to be? Or do you think Y might be a better approach?” Actively engage the person in their own problem-solving and finding their own solutions providing guidance and encouragement to help the process.
  5. End in Prayer: Close conversation in prayer thanking God for his intervention, and asking him to bless the plan chosen. If you feel like you should meet again and the feeling is mutual, then make plans to meet again.

Obviously, conversations may not go this smoothly depending on the situation you find yourself in. But for someone who is not suicidal, who has insight into their situation, and can be helped to come up with a rational next step on their journey, then this approach my be helpful. It is the approach I found most useful when I needed help and reached out to asked for assistance when I needed it over the past 6 years since becoming Christian.

Supporting Yourself When You Are going Through Deep Waters

As someone who is living with a mental illness, I know what it feels like and for all skeptics out there- its REAL. If you are reading this and are going through deep waters my friend, I want you to know you are not alone! I want you to know you have a Heavenly Father who loves you. I want you to know that, although it may not feel like it, what you are going through is temporary and you WILL get through this bump in the road.

Dear Friend, this is what I have come to realize on my journey and I feel in my spirit you should know this today:

  1. It’s ok to say “No”
  2. It’s ok to set healthy boundaries- whatever that may look like for you
  3. It’s ok not to feel ok
  4. It’s ok not to be perfect
  5. It’s ok to ask for help
  6. It’s ok to seek medical attention- mental health is real and medical advice IS needed
  7. It’s ok to seek professional counselling- I have had counselling many times throughout my 17 year illness. Research shows a combination of counselling and medical treatment is the best combination in treating mental health issues. Find yourself a good Christian counsellor who can provide the Christian insight and truth you need to help you on your journey

In conclusion, the mental health illness experience is Real and Christians are not exempt in this life from experiencing challenges to their mental health. Christians need to seek medical advice, get medical treatment, but at the same time be aware spiritual battles do exist. Christians need to consider the possibility they could be facing a spiritual battle and, in combination with medical treatment, examine and reflect on this truth either themselves or with the help of a Pastor or Christian counsellor. Christians also need the right peer support to help them find the right spirit led direction without the relationship leading to the exacerbation of feelings of shame and guilt.

My prayer today is this post has blessed someone. If you feel this is important information to share to shed light on Christianity and Mental Health and to help Christians who may be experiencing challenges, please share.

Resources

Canadian Association of Mental Health (2019). Addressing Stigma. Retrieved from: https://www.camh.ca/en/driving-change/addressing-stigma

Canadian Association of Mental Health (2019). Addressing Stigma. Retrieved from: https://www.camh.ca/en/driving-change/addressing-stigma

Pastor Steven Altrogge. Is Mental Health Considered Biblical? Retrieved from: https://www.biblestudytools.com/blogs/stephen-altrogge/is-mental-illness-actually-biblical.html

Meyer, Joyce (1995). Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in your Mind. New York, NY: updated FaithWords Edition 2011

Judgments and Assumptions

I made a new friend recently. I was invited to a function by a relative. I’m a bit of an introvert, but since I really wanted to support my relative I made an effort to show up. I’m usually shy around unfamiliar people, so I was nervous about going to the function. However, as soon as I started talking with one of my relative’s friends, she made the butterflies fly away almost instantly. She was so friendly that I felt very comfortable talking with her. 

Part of the reason I get nervous when meeting new people is that sometimes I feel they will automatically think the worst of me. I’m afraid that I might leave a bad first impression. My social anxiety can sometimes be so bad that I like to avoid group meetings if I can help it. I also tend to spend hours picking an outfit for a simple, casual meeting. To top it all off, my brain would often go into overdrive trying to figure out what was going on in the mind of someone I just met. I find myself thinking that he or she probably found me weird or awkward, and might not be interested in getting to know me. Maybe I did something the person found odd or offensive. My family members often try to reassure me that most likely not one of those thoughts are in the heads of most people I meet. 

In my last post, I talked about judging others before getting to know them. We often make a lot of assumptions about others based on their outward characteristics. For instance, if one sees a woman covered in diamonds, he or she would assume the woman is rich. I’ve come to realize that these are not the only types of assumptions we make, however. We also make assumptions about how others might perceive us. In my case, I sometimes assume everyone will quickly judge me before getting to know me. By doing so I sometimes don’t give others a chance at building a relationship with me, because I put up a wall. I feel the need to guard myself. 

Talking with my relative’s friend helped me to step out of my comfort zone a little more. Even a couple of minutes after the function had already ended, we continued to enjoy each other’s company. We even discussed arranging a meeting sometime in the near future. That day, I was reminded that while there are those who might judge me without fully knowing me, not everyone is that way. I was reminded that not every person is the same, and that’s why I should give people I meet a chance, especially if that’s the same treatment I expect from them.  

The Liebster Award

I was recently nominated for the Liebster Award by fellow blogger, Jessica Carter. I started blogging just around a month ago, so imagine my surprise when my blog received recognition already in just that short time! Thankyou so much Jessica! Be sure to check her awesome and resourceful blog! If you’re interested in the teaching profession, this is the blog for you! Jessica also has other posts with wonderful tips about college life, language learning, and blogging! Here’s the link: http://welcometospanish1.com/

About the Liebster Award

The Liebster Award is an online award given by bloggers to other bloggers to recognize new upcoming blogs. 

Rules

1.Thank the nominator, and provide an link to their blog.

2. Answer the 11 questions the nominator asked.

3. Nominate 11 bloggers for the award (this award is for new and upcoming bloggers)

4. Come with 11 new questions to ask your nominees.

Questions 

  1. What would be your death-row meal?

Definitely a nice home cooked meal made by my parents

2. What is your favorite genre of book to read?

Hard! If I really had to choose though, I would say realistic fiction.

3. If you had an unlimited travel budget, where would you go and for how long?

I would go to Spain or Costa Rica, and stay for about a year maybe. Maybe I would be able to pick up some spanish during my stay!

4. Would you prefer to be rich and hated or loved and poor?

Loved and poor!

5. Why do you blog?

I want to share my experiences. The world would be a much better place if we all tried to understand each other.

6. If you could meet anyone alive or dead, who would it be?

Another hard question! But if I really had to pick I would choose…Paul from the Bible! 

7. What’s the most crazy and reckless thing you’ve ever done?

I’m not very reckless or much of a risk taker! I would probably say starting this blog though, since I’m a pretty private person!

8. What’s your favorite blog post that you’ve written?

My latest post: Disability: Seeing the Unseen. It’s definitely been my most popular one so far! 

9. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Another hard question, but here are my three wises

  • World peace
  • Everyone to get help accomplishing their dreams
  • A little money!

10. Which would you prefer, living in the city or the country?

The country

11. What’s your favorite movie?

How to Train Your Dragon

My nominees (be sure to visit their lovely blogs):

Picking 11 out of all of the wonderful new blogs I’ve been reading was difficult, but here are my nominees:

  1. Michelle Sanders – https://mxchelleex.wordpress.com/
  2. Laura – https://laurapeat01.blog
  3. Lauren – http://www.lifestyleoflauren.org
  4. Jeremeé Duncan – https://overpoweringmswithkids.com
  5. Jessica Harris  – https://jessierenea.com/
  6. I won’t say I’m in love with reading – https://iwontsayiminlovewithreading.wordpress.com/
  7. Dopamine Queen – https://dopaminequeen.com/
  8. Heidi Caedere – http://howtorelationship101.blogspot.com/
  9. Lesley Skinner – https://doinglifewithhislight.com/
  10. Nadine – https://homeofunderstanding.blog
  11. Not Quite Carrie – https://notquitecarrie.com

My questions:

  1. What your favorite color?
  2. What’s your favorite snack to eat?
  3. Do you like salty treats or do you have more of a sweet tooth?
  4. What’s your favorite music genre?
  5. Do you like taking risks or do you prefer playing it safe?
  6. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
  7. How do get inspiration for blog posts?
  8. How would improve your blog moving forward?
  9. How did you choose your blog niche?
  10. What’s your favorite tv show?
  11. Can you play an instrument?






















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