Posts by Charli – Life with Charli

To My Strong Mother

Picture taken from Pixabay

If I had to pick a word to describe mothers, it would be “strong”. Giving birth is no easy feat. Some woman die giving birth. Still, woman continue to use their bodies to bring life into the world. Some women even give birth several times. This includes my own mother (yes I have siblings, but I won’t say how many). My mother is not just strong physically though. She is strong personality wise as well. She has always been a very confident woman, not letting anyone’s negative opinions bring her down. That confidence shines through whenever I need a pep talk to boost my confidence. When whenever I would feel down about my looks she would say she has no ugly children. It would always make me laugh and I would feel better about myself in that moment. She also uses her strong personality to advocate for me. I am a person with a disability. When I was a small child, my school wanted put me in a special education class. My mother was sure that I could learn with other children, so she fought for me to be in a general class. I just needed a little extra attention to keep up with my peers. My mother never took excuses from me. She knew I had limitations and understood them, but she also understood my strengths and had high expectations of me. I am truly grateful for my mother’s strength. If I am blessed to be a mother myself one day, I hope to be a rock to my child like she has been for me. On Mother’s Day and everyday, I celebrate my wonderful mother.

Here is what a few others hva to say about their mothers:

Kimberly Watson https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.watson.169 – My mother overcame a lot and still managed to be a loving and generous person.

Anurag Joti https://www.facebook.com/anurag.joti – Her care, cooking and all

Jutheblog Juane https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551902597675 – The way she shows love to my sister and me through food, sometimes worrying too much about us and her sacrifices for us

See you in one year

Hi! It’s been a while since posted! For those who are not familiar with me, my name is Charli! I have a condition called Turner Syndrome. It is when I girl is born with one of her X chromosomes missing. Turner syndrome can lead to a lot of complications. Some of those complications include heart defects, hearing loss, and weak bones. I have been seeing my endocrinologist every six months to make sure that my health is ok. I’ve had to have surgery on my thyroid gland. Recently, however, my doctor told me that I can now see her once every year. My health is looking really good. As long as I continue taking my medication as prescribed, and continue making decent life choices, I will continue to be in good health. I consider myself to be very fortunate, especially since, like I said previously, Turner syndrome can lead to a lot of complications. There is so much I am thankful for. Being alive in the first place is something to be grateful for, because 99 percent of pregnancies involving a fetus with Turner syndrome end in miscarriage. Life sometimes throws us curveballs and challenges, but always remember that you are a fighter.

Yetunde: An Ode to My Mother – Book Review

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my blog. This post will be a bit different, as i’m reviewing a book. The book is called “Yetunde: An Ode to My Mother”, and the author is an African writer named Segilola Salami. The description of the book is below:

Description:

Follow Yetunde as she narrates her mother’s ode to her grandmother. It is the Yoruba praise poetry for a mother known as Oriki Iya. Yetunde is also thrilled and delighted by the ancient Yoruba tale passed down to her by her mother about Labakẹ, a young maiden who was kidnapped to be forced to marry a warrior king. Will Iya Labakẹ save her child in time? Is Iya Labakẹ just a simple defenceless mother? Or . . . ?

This is a short story dedicated to past, present and future mothers, a perfect Mother’s day present!

The book is mostly in English and all Yoruba words are translated, so everyone can enjoy the book fully.

Review:

As mentioned in the description, “Yetunde: An Ode to My Mother” is a book about an African mother of Yuroba heritage spending time with her daughter, and even telling her daughter a traditional Yuroba story. “Yetunde: An Ode to My Mother” is told through the eyes of the small baby daughter, who is relaying to the readers what she has learned from her mother. I’ve mentioned on my blog many times that I have a genetic disorder. I wasn’t diagnosed with the disorder until I was a teenager, but I always knew something was off. I was always small for my age. Due to my size, I was often bullied. The bullying made me feel low and unattractive, but when I would think those thoughts, I would always think of my mother’s words to me: “I have no ugly children”. Segilola’s book reminded me of own my mother and her words to me, and how much strength I get from them. “Yetunde: An Ode to My Mother” beautifully shows how we are shaped by the words of our parents, as the daughter takes in every word her mother, Yetunde, says. Over all, I really enjoyed “Yetunde: An Ode to My Mother”. I believe it is a beautiful way to learn about Yuroba culture. I highly recommend the book

If you would like to read the book for yourself, it is available on Segilola Salami’s website https://www.segilolapublishing.com/product-category/ebooks/childrens-ebooks-fiction/

Sagilola can also be found on her blog, where she shares reviews of children’s books. Click here to pay Segilola a visit.

The Power of Love

Daily writing prompt

How important is spirituality in your life?

View all responses

I was born to Christian parents. As an adult, I’m still a Christian. Many people choose to stay in the religion they were born into for several reasons. My reason for remaining a Christian is the emphasis on “love” in Christianity. One of my favorite passages from the Bible states:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

This passage is a good example of what it means to be a Christian, and I try to live my life by it everyday.

Another passage from the Bible that puts an. Emphasis on love is “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love,”(1 Corinthians 13:13). This passage focuses on the power of love and is the reason for the many Christian founded organizations and hospitals like The Red Cross and the Salvation Army. The Catholic Church alone runs around 18,000 clinics, 16,000 homes for the elderly and those with special needs, and over 5,000 hospitals. Love is what drives people to helps others. Without love, there would be no faith in the goodness of humanity and there would be no hope for people suffering.

Love is powerful, and Christianity proves this to me everyday.

Why is Healthcare so Expensive: Part Two

Picture taken from Pixabay

I recently watched a video by a popular YouTuber named Lauren who runs the channel Living well with Schizophrenia. On her channel, she talks about her experience living with Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective Disorder. In on particular video, Lauren talks about the cost of health care. She lives in Canada where the government is heavily involved in helping with healthcare, so she doesn’t pay a heavy amount for her medical care. However, she shared what she would be paying without help. I liked the idea, and thought I’d also give a little idea of how much my healthcare would cost me without help. You can see this video below:

As I’ve mentioned many times on my blog, I have medical condition called Turner Syndrome. I take several medications for the condition. I did a little digging, and without help, I could be spending a total of $83.00 a month for my medication.

Turner syndrome causes a lot of complications. The condition is when a woman is born with only one fully functioning X chromosome instead of the usual two. Due to this fact, the woman’s body can not create estrogen on its own. Estrogen helps to strengthen a woman’s bones. This is why some older women with low estrogen suffer from osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is a common problem in Turner syndrome patients. Other complications include heart, kidney, and thyroid problems, among others. Because of all of the complications, many procedures are regularly done in order to ensure the Turner Syndrome patient remains in good health. These priced urges can include an MRI, sonogram, blood tests, and a bone density scan, among others. All together, my procedures can cost around $1,500 every time they’re done.

I have also been pretty open on my blog about my struggles with mental illness. It is no secret that mental health services can be expensive. In my case, therapy sessions without help would cost me around $2,800 each week. That’s around 14,000 a month for therapy sessions! The medication I take for my mental illness can cost around $233.00 a month.

As you can see, healthcare is pretty expensive. I didn’t even include all of my doctor visits, including the my primary care provider and specialist visits. I also did not include transportation cost. I would definitely not be able to afford the medical care I get with the good insurance I have.

The Goodness of Humanity

In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart
Anne Frank

Picture taken from Pixabay

Recently, a family member told me about a woman who wrote a book on grief for her children after their father died. It was later discovered that she herself killed him. I also read in the news about a man who killed his wife after claiming to love her during his time as a contestant on the Family Feud game show.

It seems there is nothing but bad news, and nothing but hatred in people’s hearts. Sometimes, with all the horrendous things going on, I can’t help but think the worst of humanity. But then I remember the quote above from Anne Frank. She wrote those words even though war was raging around her, even though her people were being rounded up and senselessly murdered.

I also think about the kind people who have helped me throughout my life. As a person with special needs, there have been a lot of people. I think about organizations like the Red Cross and the Salvation Army that have workers and volunteers who go all over the world spending their time helping others.

With this being said, I still believe that there are good people out there, even if sometimes they might seem very rare.

Dear Charli: A Letter to my Younger Self

You’ll have a lot of insecurities

When you reach this age

But trust me when I say

There’s nothing you’ll want to change.

You might feel small

But even pebbles are significant

You Might not feel beautiful

But girl

you are magnificent

You might feel unlovable

But you are worthy in every way

You might make mistakes

But who is perfect anyway?

You might feel there’s nothing you’ve achieved

But let me tell you

That’s just what you believe

You’ve achieved a lot if you’d only look

If you wrote what you’ve done

You could write a book

And that’s just the beginning

There’s still a lot to accomplish

So when you reach this stage

Don’t be discouraged

Consistency and Struggles

Some may I have noticed that I’ve been pretty inconsistent with my activity on my blog. There have been periods when I’ve been pretty inactive. I was really active when I first started my blog. This is because during that time I was taking a break from school, so I had a lot of time on my hands. I enjoy writing and wanted to share my thoughts, so I decided I would like to start a blog.

The blog started going pretty well, and I was having a lot of fun. Until I had to go back to school. Everyone knows how demanding college can be. It’s particularly demanding for me, so I needed to put all of my focus into school. That meant my blog had to take a back seat. Since College can be very hard, there is no doubt I had my own specific challenges.

One particular challenge in school stood out to me. It was during a term when I was taking a writing class. The end of that term was particularly stressful. I struggled to manage preparing for exams I was supposed to take and the paper I was supposed to write for the class. By the time the paper was due, I still wasn’t ready to turn it in. I decided to go to class with an unfinished paper and ask the professor for more time.

I was nervous enough going to class with an unfinished essay, so you can just imagine how nervous I was to ask for more time to complete the essay. However, I sucked up my anxiety and pulled out the courage to approach my professor at the end of class. Unfortunately, my professor said no. I left the classroom defeated, and went into a bathroom stall for a little privacy. As soon as I stepped into the stall, a wave of emotions started crashing down on me, and I couldn’t hold back my tears. All kinds of catastrophic thoughts started flooding my head. What if I fail the class now? What if it brings down my GPA? What if I can’t get into get into the career I want because of that bad grade? I saw a string of failures ahead of me, and felt completely hopeless.

As I cried and terrible thoughts overwhelmed me, I closed eyes and prayed. When I finally managed to stop crying, I left the bathroom and ran into none other the my writing professor. I decided right then that there was nothing I could do about the situation but ask my professor what my grade would look like without the the essay. Her response surprised me.

“Take the weekend”, she said.

Relief instantly hit me. It seemed my prayer was answered. I gave my Professor a genuine and heartfelt thanks.

There are two lessons I took away from this experience. The first is that God always comes through for you. The second I learned later through therapy, and that lesson is one bad situation doesn’t mean the end of the world. Doing poorly on the final paper didn’t mean I would have failed the class, and even if I failed the class that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to go into the career I wanted. Plus, even if I were to have trouble getting into a particular career, there are other options. There are always options and always a solution. When one door closes, another always opens, and the door that was closed was closed shut for a reason. You weren’t meant to go through that door.

So, whatever struggle you might be going through, dear reader, know that you can and will get through it. Until next time.

Learning to Love Yourself with Wednesday

Bianca: “You’re lucky”

Wednesday: “Do tell.”

Bianca: “You don’t care what people think of you.”

Photo taken from Netflix

I mentioned in a previous post that I don’t have much luck with guys. I actually don’t have much luck with people in general. At least that’s what I can’t get myself to stop thinking all the time.

“That person thinks I’m weird”, I would often tell a family member.

“Why do you think that?”, they would often ask, reminding me that what I’m think is not fact.

“People tend to be selfish and are mostly thinking about themselves”, my therapist would always remind me.

No matter how hard I try to keep what I’m told in mind, it’s often hard for me not to think about what’s others are thinking about me. While watching “Wednesday”, what stuck out to to me was how different I am from the titular character. She genuinely doesn’t care about what people think about her. I care a bit too much about what people think about me. Some professionals who analyzed the show think Wednesday might have autism. This might be why she has so much trouble showing her emotions. I, on the other hand, have borderline personality disorder and often have trouble keeping my emotions in check.

What really caught my attention about Wednesday, however, is that she knows she’s different and accepts that. Her viral dance sequence shows this most. She’s confident and not afraid to be herself. What I love most is that though there are some scenes when she sometimes feels insecure and afraid of being alone and eventually allows friends to have a little influence on her, none of this changes who she is at her core. Wednesday will allows be Wednesday, and through the rough patches, her friends start to accept this. They don’t try to change her. Instead, the relationship that Wednesday has with her friends is reciprocal, especially with her best friend Enid. Wednesday starts the series feeling she is better off alone, and Enid starts the series feeling insecure. The series ends with Wednesday fully accepting Enid’s friendship and Enid gaining confidence.

Watching Wednesday really put into perspective for me how hard it can be to feel different from others, but how easy it can feel to be ok with that when you are comfortable with yourself and have people around you who accept you for who you are. I am definitely still a work in progress, but I am learning to love myself, and when people tell me they love me the way I am, I am learning to believe them.

My Hair Journey: How I Fell in Love with my Hair

Growing up, I had a love-hate relationship with my hair. I am a woman of African descent, and people with African roots generally have what we call “kinky” or “coily” hair. I used to love when my mother would style my hair in beautiful braids, and the compliments I would get about them. However, I hated how hard it was for me to style my hair myself. My hair was unruly and difficult to deal with, or at least that’s what I thought.

I had my hair relaxed for the first time when I was still a small child. It was for a wedding. I was still very young, but I was old enough to remember that when I looked in the mirror, I thought I never looked more beautiful. I felt more beautiful too. I also felt like my hair was much more manageable. I didn’t get another relaxer put into my hair again until my late teens, but I continued to straighten my hair with flat irons. In other words, through heat. My hair started to become very damaged from all the heat and chemicals, and I eventually decided to do a “big chop”, or cut off the damaged, relaxed parts of my hair. In the end, I was left with a bit of a buzz cut. As my hair started to grow back, I took the time to learn how to properly take care of my hair and style it.

Many Black women around the world are forgoing the flat iron and relaxers, opting to wear our hair in its natural state instead. A natural hair movement is taking place, and many influencers and companies that sell hair care products have been benefitting from it. Many natural hairstyling videos have been popping up on YouTube to teach black women who choose to go natural how to care for their hair, as well as how to style it. Companies that have been creating haircare products geared towards black women are gaining attention. In fact, in the recent years, there has been a decline in hair relaxer sales. In light of this, some haircare companies that have been previously focused on selling hair straightening products are jumping on the natural hair movement bandwagon.

The movement is not meant to discourage black women from getting relaxers, but rather to encourage each other to feel beautiful and confident regardless of how we choose to wear our hair. I believe there is a lesson every woman can take away from the natural hair movement: you are beautiful just the way you are. It doesn’t matter what our hair texture or skin color might be. We are all queens. After all, diversity is beautiful. Gone are the days when I thought of my hair as unattractive. When I cut my hair, I wasn’t sure I would want to stay natural. Then I looked in the mirror, and thought I never looked more beautiful.