Guest Post – Life with Charli

Interviewing Pamela Topjian: Part One

Hello everyone! Welcome to Life with Charli for those who are visiting for the first time! Welcome back to those who are familiar with my blog! In this post, I’m very excited to welcome a special guest! Her name is Pamela Topjian! She is a mental health and holistic health advocate! She runs the podcast Holistic Connections: Conversations with holistic practitioners, and she has a YouTube channel where you can also find her podcast videos! She is also the author of two memoirs. Her first memoir is called “I Didn’t Come This Far, to Only Come THIS Far”. Pamela shares the trauma she experienced throughout her life, including abuse in her first two marriages, in this memoir. Her second memoir is Behind The Mask, Scrubs and Gloves, which touches on her experience as a nurse. I had the pleasure of interviewing Pamela recently, and I share part our conversation in this post! I hope you gain inspiration from reading this.

Content warning: talk of abuse and suicide. If you or a loved one us experiencing abuse please reach out for help. If you live in the United States, click here to contact the National Demostic Violence Hotline. If you or a loved one is considering self harm, contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 at any time.

Enjoy the interview!

Tell me about your current healthy marriage. How did you find the courage to trust and find love again after your abusive past relationships?

Pamela

That’s a very good question, cause I always said “I’ll never marry again, I’ll never marry again”, and I wasn’t even dating for a relationship. I wouldn’t have been able to without going through therapy first. I had to look at what I learned from my past and knowing how I got to that point in my life with the first two marriages, and then looking at what I would do differently.

This is kinda one of the things we went through in therapy is, like, ok this situation with this past relationship, what would you do differently now? Or what are some red flags that you maybe missed or ignored at that time? So learning from the past relationships is what helped me to be in a healthier relationship now. And then, you know, gaining self respect and learning what is acceptable and having healthy boundaries as well. Being able to say no to whatever doesn’t feel right for me, or whatever feels disrespectful, or doesn’t feel safe, you know? So through therapy is the main answer. You know? I would not have been able to be in a healthy relationship, not without going through therapy.

Charli

Wow! Absolutely. Absolutely. I completely understand that. And how did therapy help you to love yourself and trust that person with your love?

Pamela

Yeah, it was just through connecting the dots and through understanding how I got to that place in my life. You know? How I got to that place. Cause going through therapy was during a mental breakdown, which we touch on later in these questions. I was at the lowest I’ve ever been, so you learn to connect the dots and connect those puzzle pieces, and figure out how did I get to this low point from where I came from. How did I get here? And then being able to understand all that really helps to gain self confidence. And talking about what you’ve learned from it all makes you trust yourself more again.

It’s like “oh ok”, cause, you know, so many people will say “oh my picker is broken” if they keep having bad relationships one after the other. But what they don’t understand is that can be sort of fixed.

Well, that’s not the best term to use in mental health the term “fixed”, but when people say “my picker is broken”, then you can fix that picker, really, by learning from the past mistakes rather than just saying “oh this terrible thing happened. Oh this terrible thing happened”, and looking at it as “what did I learn from that?, What was good that came out from that? What would I do differently now?”, or what was good out of that? But also what was not acceptable from that. What was the point that was this was too much, this was unacceptable? So learning from those things really makes a big difference.

Charli

Absolutely! Absolutely! I get that! Like, knowing what to accept and what you shouldn’t accept in a relationship. Learning about that. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Tell me about the title of your first memoir “I didn’t come this far to only come this far”. What made you give your book this title?

Pamela

So when I first went through therapy, during that mental breakdown, I felt like I climbed out a very deep dark hole, and so I couldn’t do everything that it took to claw myself out of that deep dark hole and then just sit at the edge of that cliff. You know what I mean? I didn’t come all the way through that to just be here at this place. You know? At the edge of it and not move forward.

So I had to move away from it. I couldn’t have just made it through all that I did, all those suicidal thoughts, and all the work that I had done for healing, I couldn’t just get there and be like “ok, ok. Now I feel better. I’m just gonna sit here at the edge of this cliff and look down at that deep dark hole and be like ‘I made it!’. For me anyway, I felt like you had to keep going to make my life purposeful. I might not have made it, so there has to be a reason. So I didn’t come all this way, I didn’t come this far to only come this far. You know?

What moment or breakthrough during your solo cross-country trip made you say, “I didn’t come this far to only come this far”?

Pamela

I don’t feel like I was really feeling that way at the time. Really, that was after therapy, like I just explained, which was after the bus ride. But just the fact that I was still alive after having a plan for suicide, I had to just hang on to hope. So, just the fact that I didn’t carry out that plan, and I got on that bus, and I was going for a last ditch effort to move far away for a fresh start, whatever. The same kinda thing. I’m not still here for no reason. So it’s just really holding on to hope.

Charli

Absolutely. Beautiful. I like that. I think a lot of times we find that moment where we say “ok, I just feel like I wanna keep going” like you said before. I wanna keep pushing forward. This up, an upward motion. Sometimes it takes that moment for us to find that breakthrough.

Pamela

Right. Yeah, I think they talk about rock bottom. It’s usually with alcoholism, or drug addiction, or something, but you can totally hit rock bottom in other ways. Even not having to do with substance abuse or anything, but just your own trauma can make you drop down to that rock bottom place to where you’re anxious, and depressed, and suicidal, and unable to function. Even that can be your rock bottom that you have to decide at that point “Am I gonna stay under this rock or try to get out of it?”.

Writing a memoir takes incredible vulnerability. Did you find the 5-year process of writing your story to be triggering?

Pamela

Absolutely. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It felt really important to do though. So honestly, I knew that it was healing. It was cathartic writing it all out. And I started writing it all out as a journal as I was going through therapy. I was writing as a journal to help myself connect those dots and put those puzzle pieces together. So that was the reason I was writing it. But then later, decided I was gonna publish it and turn it in to a memoir.

So yeah, during the time of writing it, I was having flashbacks, and I hadn’t had flashbacks before, flashbacks of abuse. I was having nightmares. But yeah, just understanding how I got to those points in life, and like I said, connecting the dots, and putting those puzzle pieces together, and being able to get it out of me, to write it down and get all those words and experiences out of me and down out on paper was really healing. And so, it was triggering, but I knew it was one of those hurdles you had to go through.

Charli

Wow. Wow. Really interesting. What particularly made you decide I want people to know about my journey, about this and to publish it?

Pamela

Yeah, so I was reading other memoirs and during the time I was in therapy, and I was writing my journal, and I was reading memoirs of other women who had made it out of difficult situations, a lot of them much more horrific than what I had been through, but I know that so many women, so many people, have been through the same kinds of things that I have.

I mean, nobody has the same exact lives or stories, but people go through similar things. So I knew that there was plenty of women, too many women, who had been through similar situations that I have been through. And so I thought, as I was reading theses other ones, it helped me to realize, oh, if they can get out of that horrific situation to go on to love their life and not just survive but to thrive, if they can do it, why not me? You know? So I felt like my story can be helpful to someone too. Cause a lot of those stories, as I was talking about before, a lot of those stories are people who had been through addiction or substance abuse, or something that might be a little bit different than my story, and things that we hear more about, those kinds of stories. Or people who have been through really really horrific things that people can’t even imagine, like child trafficking and stuff like that, or cult abuse, and just really really horrific things. Or even a lot of physical and sexual abuse and stuff throughout their childhood, some really really horrific things, and they want to get out of it. So I felt like my story was a little more relatable to a lot of people. I just thought, oh my story might help somebody too.

Charli

Amazing! And to piggyback off of our other questions, it’s amazing that you were inspired by other stories. For me personally, I know that made me want to receive help, and that made me also want to share my journey too. So for you, when you started receiving help, did others inspire you to also recieve help?

Pamela

I wouldn’t say that others did. So I started therapy because I had went to the doctor. I was a nurse at the time, and I was thinking more medical and I thought “We’ll I can’t sleep and I have so much anxiety”. I was going to the doctor for something to help me sleep, cause that just makes everything worse if you’re not sleeping. And I was having nightmares and stuff too when I did fall asleep. So even the act of trying to fall asleep was causing anxiety, cause I had so many bad nightmares.

So I went to the doctor and it was the doctor who said “yes, I’ll give you some medication, but I also want to have you go to therapy”. So yeah, it was really the doctor. I didn’t have people in my life encouraging me to go to therapy. It was the doctor.

Charli

And when the doctor told you you should go to therapy, what was your response? Were you hesitant to go to therapy?

Pamela

Well at the time, and this is so funny, but at the time, I didn’t know why I was having this reaction. So I had just had a second divorce from an abusive marriage, and when I divorced him I thought, and this is just before the mental breakdown, I thought “oh my gosh everything’s gonna be wonderful now”. You know what I mean? I was just so excited to not have that in my life anymore, to be on my own, but then everything from my childhood and my whole life just came crashing down on me and I spiraled downward. But at the time I didn’t realize it.

When I was at the doctor’s office, I did not realize what was causing all of this. And I thought “what am I gonna say to a therapist? I can’t get over my second divorce? Even though I’m the one who divorced and it was abusive and I wanted out and I needed out?” It wasn’t the person. I wasn’t missing him. It wasn’t like that. It was just I was fearful all the time.

One of the reasons I moved far was partially because I didn’t know if I would see him at the grocery store or he would show up at my job. He didn’t know where I had moved, but I didn’t know if he stayed in the same town. So I was always fearful, and I thought that was the reason. So when it continued after I moved half way across the country, I was so confused as to why this was happening.

So when the doctor told me that, I thought “what am I gonna say to the therapist?”. I was like “I don’t even know what I’m gonna say, but if you think so”. And to be honest with you, the doctor really wanted me to go into a facility. You wouldn’t recognize me. I mean, the person I was sitting in the doctor’s office, I was ringing my hands, I was almost shaking. I could not focus. To sit in a waiting room with other people, it was so scary to me. To drive there was a really difficult task. Just to drive to the doctor’s office, or to go to a store. A lot of times I’d go to a store and I’d leave before I got everything I need cause I just could not handle it. So, he wanted me to go into a facility, and I was like “I’m not suicidal. I don’t wanna go into a facility”. And I promised that I would be ok, and that I would definitely go to that first appointment. So I talked him out of it actually, which is surprising. I talked him out of sending me some place and started out-patient therapy.

So, I want to mention something else that I was thinking about when you talked about the reason for writing the memoir. Another reason is I’ve got two adult children, and I thought if the suicidal thoughts won, if I wasn’t gonna make it out of this, I wanted them to have the whole picture as to what happened. This was Mom’s life. This is what happened. This is what happened that got her to that point in life. And I wanted them to have that story. And then also my father died young, my mother now has the beginnings of dementia, and I don’t have a whole lot of information on their childhood and even young adult life. I would like my kids, when I’m gone, to have it all written out. You know? Cause I would have loved to have that with my parents.

Charli

That’s touching! Wow! To have your children know this is your Mom’s story.

Pamela

Yeah. And I think that would be really cool. I don’t have grandchildren yet. I mean, I still may, but even with nieces and nephews, or their children, I’m gonna be somebody’s ancestor someday. And I think it would be really cool if I had some ancestor, some great aunt, or even a great great grandmother, or somebody from long long ago, if I had a memoir of their whole life story…

Charli

Oh that would be amazing! It would be so amazing to know this is what was going on in their time, this is what was going on in their life. I think that’s amazing.

What advice do you have for blog readers who want to share their own trauma stories but are terrified of being judged?

Pamela

I would let them know that it can be incredibly healing to get it all out of you, whether you write about it or talk about it like on podcasts, it helps, but to also know that it can help others to not feel so alone, because others have been through so much that they don’t talk about and they feel so alone in their pain. So, those that judge may not have had similar experiences, and they just don’t understand how it can feel for somebody, or they have, maybe, and think that you should just keep things secret and not air dirty laundry or put your trauma out there for the public to see. But keep in mind how helpful it can be for those who are afraid to speak about it, and it may even save a life.

So, as you age, when you’re younger you might worry about being judged, but as you age you don’t care as much what other people think. But also if they’re judging, that’s just showing that they don’t understand, and that’s ok. Not everybody is going to understand. You know? You just have to know that it’s something that’s important to you and very helpful to you, and that’s what matter’s most. Even if others are gonna judge it.

Charli

I love that! I love that, because a lot of women don’t report or want to report their abuse, they don’t report their trauma, and they don’t tell their story. And it can be so encouraging, it can be so helpful, to hear someone else share their story. And they can feel open to sharing “this is what happened to me”.

Pamela

Yeah. And I think I answered this in other questions too, but it helps to know somebody made it out of that. It’s not just a story of trauma, it’s also a story of healing at the end.

Charli

Yes! I love that point of view! I mean, yes you’ve been a victim, but you also are a survivor. You’ve made it through that point in your life where you can say “I made it through that. I’m strong”.

Pamela

Yeah. And just knowing that somebody else did, that helps to know that you can too.

Your life is a masterclass in starting over. What mindset shift is required to successfully reinvent yourself when everything feels broken?

Pamela

So before I answer this, this is my third book. So I’m writing my third book about reinventing myself. The first book is so much trauma and everything I’ve been through, and at the end it’s about healing. The second book is everything I’ve been through as a nurse. I wanted to write a book that was focused more on the healing and the rebuilding than all the trauma. So yeah.

So I guess the mindset shift is to have hope and know it’s possible. That and to learn from the past and to have gratitude for everything positive in your life. That’s the mindset that you have to have as you’re rebuilding. Not to focus on all the trauma, and not to focus on all the things that were bad, but to focus on, and even if you’re writing everything out that was traumatic, focus on what’s good now.

You know, a lot of my childhood we were hungry. We lived in poverty. We didn’t have food to eat a lot of the time. So even just to be thankful for a meal. You don’t have to be religious to give thanks for your meal. Every little thing really. I mean, if you have ever lived in poverty, you know you are wearing your clothes until the last thread. You can’t get a lot of things you even really need a lot of the time, let alone things you want. So every little thing, be thankful for that. And I think holding on to that gratitude helps you to reach for more as you’re going through your healing.

What advice do you have for people who feel it is too late in life to make changes or achievements?

Pamela

Making changes can be done as long as you have your mind and you have your breath. It’s really never too late. It can start with just knowing that it’s possible and holding on to hope. You don’t have to know where or how to achieve that big goal, but one small change or movement in the direction at the time is all it takes. You don’t have to know “how am I gonna get there from here? It’s like you’re at the bottom of that hole and it’s like “I don’t know how I’m gonna get up at the top. I just know that I want to. I’m just gonna keep climbing one little step at a time”. That reminded me of that quote “you don’t have to take the whole staircase at once”. You just take it one step at a time. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. If you’re driving somewhere, you don’t have to see the destination to drive there. You’re just going one mile at a time.

Charli

I love that. I think a lot of people will be encouraged by that. I know for me, I’m a perfectionist. I know “I want to get to this route”. And I wanna plan everything, and “this is how I wanna get there, this is where I wanna go”. And sometimes when things don’t happen the way I want them to, I get so bent out of shape, I get so down. And I think it’s encouraging to know take your time. You don’t have to be perfect to get to your destination. You don’t even have to perfectly know your destination.

Pamela

Right. And sometimes it can be one steps forward and two steps back. Just inching your way up, you know? I changed careers in my 50s. I took took new classes and courses in my 50s. I started therapy when I was 50. I started painting. I wrote my memoirs in my 50s. I’m 60 now. I’m writing a third memoir. And there people that are much older that are famous people. You can easily look it up. What famous people didn’t start till they were much older? There’s plenty of them that you know of, that you’ve heard of, that didn’t start until much later in life.

So if you’re feeling like you’re too old, like I said, if you still have your mind about you and you’re still breathing, you can make changes for the better.

Thankyou, Pamela, for taking the time to do this interview! It was truly a pleasure and honor speaking with you!

Get to know Pamela more!
Find her on her podcast, YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok

Buy her first book: I Didn’t Come This Far, to Only Come THIS Far

Buy her second book: Behind The Mask, Scrubs and Gloves

I’m on Tiny Buddha: Part Two

Hi all! Welcome back to my blog! For those here for the first time, I’m glad to have you here! I have news! I’m on Tiny Buddha again!

If you don’t already know, my blog focuses on sharing my story about living with mental health and disability, so my first post for Tiny Buddha focused on my insecurities with still not having my life figured out as an older woman. You can read that post here.

Imagine my joy and excitement when Ms. Deschene responded to my first request to publish a post on her blog! It’s so exciting to be back with another post to share on Tiny Buddha! Ms. Deschene is honestly so lovely and kind and has such a wonderful inspiring platform! I’m so grateful to share my experiences and thoughts on it! A very heartfelt thankyou to Lori Deschene! You can read my second post on Tiny Buddha here.

Thankyou for visiting, and I’ll see in the next post!

Charli 💋

Guest Post – World Mental Health Day: A Quiet Invitation to Check In

By: Laiba Noor

Hey friends,
October 10 was World Mental Health Day, a reminder (and an invitation) to slow down, pause, and notice what’s going on inside. On the surface, life might look okay. We wake up, go about our routines, and smile. But beneath, there might be places in our hearts or minds that feel heavy, empty, or strained.

I want this post to feel like a conversation, not a lecture. A friend sitting across from you, answering with honesty, saying: you’re not alone.

Why this day matters

We live in a time when everything seems to move fast. Deadlines, expectations, social media, relationships, all these demand our attention. It’s easy to neglect the internal work. But mental health isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving or at least finding peace in the in-between days.

World Mental Health Day is more than a hashtag or awareness campaign. It’s an opportunity. An invitation to:

• Speak gently to yourself.

• Seek help without shame.

• Reach out to others.

• Make small changes that honor your emotional world.

It’s a permission slip, permission to rest, to step back, to feel and heal.

Recognizing the whispers before they become cries

I’ve found that life doesn’t often crash in one dramatic moment. It leaks. It seeps. A few missed nights of sleep. A few small irritations. A creeping apathy. These are the soft signals.

Here are some things to watch for:

• Fatigue that lingers even after rest.

• Losing interest in things you once loved.

• Feeling irritable without warning.

• Anxiety that mutates into dread.

• Difficulty focusing, or mind wandering constantly.

• Withdrawing from people you care about.

If you notice these in yourself or someone else, don’t rush past them. Sit with them. Ask: What’s happening right now? What needs tending?

Small acts of care that really matter

We don’t always need big solutions. Sometimes, small, consistent acts make the difference. Here’s what I try (and fail and try again) in my own life:

• Breathing breaks: Even 2 minutes of deep, slow breaths can reset your nervous system.

• Gentle movement: Walking, stretching, dancing, anything that moves your body with kindness.

• Digital boundaries: Limiting doom-scrolling; turning off notifications at set times.

• Journaling: Nothing fancy, just writing what’s inside, without judgment.

• Talking to someone: A friend, a counselor, someone safe.

• Asking for help: Sometimes “help” is just someone listening.

• Saying no: Protecting your space and energy.

• Creating small rituals: A warm drink, a short walk, reading a few pages.

These aren’t cures. They’re lifelines. They remind us: I matter. My mental state matters.

When you need more, reaching out is strength

There’s a myth that asking for help means you’ve failed. That’s untrue. In fact, reaching out is one of the bravest things we can do.

Therapists, support groups, helplines. These are tools, not signs of weakness. Sometimes, we can’t see ourselves clearly; we need someone else to help us untangle. If you’re in doubt: call someone you trust, even if just to say I’m not okay. That’s a start.

If you’re in Pakistan, or anywhere, there are local mental health organizations and helplines (you can Google “mental health helpline in [your city/country]”). If you need help finding one, I’m here. I can look it up and share.

For those standing beside someone struggling

If you know someone wrestling with mental health:

• Listen more than you speak.

• Avoid quick fixes (“just cheer up”).

• Show up, even in silence.

• Ask simple questions with care: “How are you, really?”

• Encourage professional help gently.

• Remind them they’re not a burden.

You don’t have to have all the answers. Your presence matters.

A closing note from me to you

In honor of World Mental Health Day, I want to leave you with kindness. Wherever you are in your journey. Whether in calm, in chaos, in trying, in healing. May you lean toward light. May you listen to your inner world. May you find someone to walk with you, even for a little while. May you give yourself permission to just be.

If this post resonates, share it. If it doesn’t, take from it what you need. And if you ever want to talk, whenever I’ll listen!

With light & care,
Laiba Noor.

Meet the Author:

This beautiful piece was written by Laiba Noor. Laiba is a hardworking Content Creator, Social Media Manager and Influencer Marketer who lives in Pakistan. If you enjoyed this post and would like to work with Laiba, you can reach her on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Good Things Need to be Maintained

I have been talking a lot about mental health and illnesses on my platforms. For those who do not know, I have depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. I have been going to therapy for a while now, and I am pretty stable. I haven’t had a depressive episode in a long time. I’ve been feeling healthy and happy. Now the focus is on maintaining my good mental health. Maintenance is very important part of the process having good mental health, even for those who don’t have a mental illness. Read my the latest post on my blog to go in depth on the importance of maintaining your healthy mental health. Thankyou for this opportunity Plumbers Rockhampton!

By: Justin Hope

People spend thousands on home renovations. They splash out on shiny new sinks, redo the showers, and turn a tired old bathroom into something that looks amazing. Good plumbing and renovations like this can last years… but only when it is maintained. When things get neglected, stuff eventually breaks down. As a plumbing blog writer, I want to show you how, like our plumbing, we need to look after our mental health. Most of us know how to maintain the things we own. We’ve paid good money for them and don’t want them falling apart. But too often, that idea of maintenance stops at our stuff. In reality, it extends to you. It extends to your mental health. Good things don’t just last on their own. They need to be sustained.

What Happens When We Don’t Maintain Things?
Ignore your plumbing for long enough and you’ll see the results. Rainwater tanks that once gave clean water can now become a breeding ground for mosquitoes and bacteria. The toilet can get blocked. And the drain can start making weird smells and sounds. When things are ignored, they become chaotic. It doesn’t happen all at once. It creeps up. Then suddenly, you’re left with a mess so bad the only solution is to call a professional. If we understand that we should protect our plumbing, how much more should we protect our
minds? There are many things that we know we should be doing. Exercise, taking breaks, listening to music, spending time in peace, and addressing excessive stress. However, all too easily, these habits can fall away. And then, too, can things start to get out of hand. We find ourselves more anxious, stressed, and burnt out. And when it gets too much, the smartest thing we can do is call in a professional, like a therapist, to help set things straight.
Life is a juggling act. But not all the balls are the same. Some are rubber and can bounce if dropped. Others are glass and if you drop them, they shatter. Your health belongs firmly in the “glass” category.

The Value of Preventive Maintenance
In plumbing, cleaning filters, doing inspections, and checking tanks is very important. It’s about addressing any problems right as they emerge, or before they even start. That way, it’s a lot easier for everyone, and many headaches can be saved. The goal of this is to prevent the homeowner from having to make an emergency plumbing call. The same principle applies to us. Preventing stress from piling up is always easier than fixing a breakdown. Ensure the ‘health pillars’ on which you stand are steady. Exercise, for example, is like flushing your system. It keeps things moving, clears out the tension, and gives you resilience to handle pressure before it clogs you up. Preventing something like excessive stress is always better than waiting for it to get out of hand.

Spotting Early Signs
Very few things collapse as soon as they are neglected. Usually, it takes some time to slowly fall apart. It is more like a gradual descent into chaos rather than one big fall. For pipes, if you throw grease down the sink, over time, it will accumulate in the pipes and restrict the water flow. With repeated use, you’ll notice the drain draining slower and weird sounds coming from it. These are the warning signs. If the homeowner ignores these, then the drain will become
completely blocked. Our lives are surprisingly similar to plumbing systems. Once we take our foot off the pedal, we can gradually descend into chaos.
And that’s kind of a good thing. Having it happen gradually means you can still progress and save yourself even if you have made a mistake. Just imagine if after every time you skipped the gym, you started from square-one. However, the problem with this is that we can get complacent with the way things are. Even if things aren’t good, we can say ‘she’ll be right’. We can ignore the warning signs, because we might not crack just yet. But this is never recommended. In mental health, you should look out for signs of irritability, constant tiredness, always feeling stressed or anxious, withdrawing from people, and a loss of motivation. These are like the little warning signs your body gives that it might need some help.

Building a Maintenance Plan
When you have to do maintenance checks for the plumbing, you can’t just do it when you feel like it. You have to set up a routine for every few months to do some inspections and cleans. This makes it much harder for problems to remain unaddressed or unseen. In terms of mental health, you also need to establish some sort of routine for yourself. You can decide to go to the gym 3 days per week. You can decide to take a break and read a book to relax every night. You can get in the habit of listening to relaxing music. For me, these are the habits that I’ve developed to maintain my mental health. And if your mental plumbing is about to burst, you can always call the professionals to help you
out.

Conclusion
A plumbing system looked after lasts for decades and gives everything peace of mind. But good things don’t last by accident. They last because you look after them. And for you, you are worth being looked after. So keep an eye on the little things. Focus on maintaining good habits for your health. A little bit of rest, and exercise can go a long way. Otherwise, like plumbing, you might just burst.

About the Author

Justin Hope runs the website Plumbers Rockhampton. Plumbers Rockhampton is dedicated to providing quality plumbing solutions to local problems in Queensland, Australia. They provide services for a variety of plumbing needs, ranging from renovations to commercial plumbing.

Guest Post: Don’t Burst Under Pressure

by: Justin Hope

On a cold day, there’s nothing better than a nice warm shower… unless the water goes haywire. It can either trickle out so weak that you’re freezing, or blast you like a pressure washer.

In plumbing, water pressure needs to be just right to keep everything flowing safely and smoothly.

If there’s too much pressure, for too long, then pipes burst. Water goes everywhere. Repairs get expensive fast.

Turns out, our minds work the same way.

The Pressure Builds Quietly

Our minds are a lot like pipes, finding the right balance of pressure so we can achieve our goals and not crack under all the stress.

Now, many people are juggling many different things at once. There are people who work from home on important projects, cook, care for kids, run businesses, and worry if they are good parents.
All those stresses can build up on you and take a toll on your mental health.

You tell yourself you’re fine, that you can take on just one more thing, that you have to keep going. You can bottle up the stress, ignore the burnout, push through anxiety, and keep stacking on new expectations.

Our nervous system has limits. We can be emotionally strained.

But the question is, what do we do about it? In life, we will always have responsibilities, so how can we approach them the right way?

Bursting the Pipe

In response to being constantly in a high-pressure environment, we usually take one of a few approaches.

The first is to ignore the problem and continue as normal. (Not advised)

If this were a pipe, it would be like ignoring the water pressure or even increasing it. Whilst the pipes may still work for a bit longer, eventually you run the risk of them bursting.

And then you’ve created a massive mess in the bathroom that you need to clean up.

Similarly, when we bottle up our emotions, we can risk outbursts and burnout. This approach takes a massive toll on our mental health and can crush us. But there is another way.

Releasing the Pressure

Plumbers know you don’t fix a pressure problem by yelling at the pipe. You reduce the strain. You release some of the build-up. You add safety valves and expansion tanks so the system has room to flex.

Mental health is the same. You need to allow just for a bit, the ability to release some of this pressure to cope. Here are some good ways to do that;
– Setting boundaries and saying no to certain things if you have a full plate

– Speaking to someone before things get dire

– Making space for rest without guilt

Even just taking time to rest on Sunday can be a great way to recharge and take some time to rest.
I know the rest isn’t always easy, especially with kids or work that doesn’t stop. But even a few moments of calm matter can really help. Just taking some time to go for a walk or read a book can be some much-needed relief.

Pressure Is Normal But Needs to Be Regulated

A bit of pressure is good.

In a shower, if there is no pressure, then the water stops moving. In our own lives, a bit of pressure motivates us to achieve our goals and finish projects.

But when you have too much for too long, that’s when the pipes need some relief.
If you’re feeling stretched thin, don’t wait for the emotional blowout. Start releasing the pressure now, even in small ways.

Your plumbing system isn’t the only thing that needs relief valves. Your mind does too.

About the Author

My Interview with Butterfly Banter

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my blog! For those who are familiar with my blog, you know I have a condition called Turner Syndrome. Turner syndrome is when a woman is born with one of her X chromosomes fully or partially missing. Only about 1 to 3 percent of pregnancies involving a baby with Turner syndrome make it to term. The other close to 99 percent usually end in miscarriage. Around 15 percent of all miscarriages were the result of Turner syndrome.

Turner syndrome can lead to a lot of complications for those babies who survive, and the complications can vary from person to person. I recently talked about my experience with Turner syndrome on a podcast called Butterfly Banter. Did you know that Turner syndrome is represented by the butterfly and those with Turner syndrome are called butterflies? That inspired the name for the podcast. It is hosted by fellow butterfly Jenna Haller. The podcast is dedicated to raising awareness on Turner syndrome through those of us with Turner syndrome telling our stories.

I admire Jenna’s advocacy, and I was proud to tell me story on Butterfly Banter. If you would like to listen in on my conversation with Jenna, you can click here. I hope you enjoy the discussion as much as I did! Be sure to give a listen to other episodes on Jenna’s podcast as well, and follow Butterfly Banter on Facebook!

Thankyou for visiting and your support! Until next time!

Charli 🦋

Guest Post: My Personal Diary of Self-Care

By: Manoj Devnath

In today’s life, self-care is always the least priority on our list. We are so engaged with work, family, and social responsibilities that we forget to take care of ourselves. Self-care isn’t selfish, however; it is a need. Caring for oneself means greater productivity, emotional balance, and mental sharpness. So how do you put self-care into your day without making it a big deal? Let’s break it down into little, nourishing moments.

Tips To Follow To Do Self-Care During A Day

1. Begin with a Gentle Morning Routine

How you start your day has a significant impact on your mood, productivity, and stress levels. Instead of jumping out of bed and racing against the clock, give yourself a peaceful and thoughtful beginning. Wake up 15 minutes earlier than you normally would to make time for yourself. Stretch slowly to wake up your muscles, drink a cup of hot green tea lemonade, and resist the urge to mindlessly scroll through your phone. This moment belongs to you—you might journal, meditate, or just sit silently and establish your intentions. A peaceful morning sets the tone for a good day.

2. Feed Your Mind and Body Intentionally

Proper nutrition is essential to self-care. Begin the day with a well-balanced breakfast with fruits, whole grains, and protein. Avoid processed food and excess caffeine that creates energy crashes. Throughout the day, have plenty of water and listen to your body’s hunger cues. Eat slowly and enjoy your food without multitasking. Eating mindfully is not just about feeding your body but also respecting it. Turn every meal into a moment to feed yourself inside and out.

3. Take Micro-Mental Breaks

Your brain, like all your muscles, needs to rest to stay focused and productive. Non-stop work leads to mental exhaustion and burnout. Take mini-breaks every 1-2 hours. Go for a walk outside, close your eyes and breathe in deeply, or stretch yourself out. Even a brief 5-minute walk will wake up your brain. Such micro-breaks improve focus, imagination, and mood, thus boosting your productivity.

4. Boundaries While Working

Boundaries are an essential but often neglected act of self-preservation. Without boundaries, work encroaches on the rest of life and introduces chronic stress. Set defined work time and respect it. Practice saying no when your plate is full and refrain from checking work emailsoutside the designated time. Use tools like “Do Not Disturb” to minimize distractions while performing deep work. Setting those limits is the way your work won’t overwhelm your personal space and mental peace.

5. Remain Connected to Positivity

Humans are social beings, and emotional health is partially about meaningful connections. Call or text a friend or family member during the day with a brief message or call. Cultivate relationships with others who encourage you. Mind your digital diet—unfollow individuals that make you feel smaller and follow those that inspire you. Choose conversations that bring joy and avoid negativity, gossip, or comparison traps. When you establish good relationships, you establish a support system that nourishes your soul.

6. Establish a Bedtime Routine

Night routines help you to create a transition from the nuttiness of the day to a good night’s rest. Choose calming activities like reading, a relaxing bath, or listening to calming music. Avoid screens at least 30 minutes prior to going to bed in order to reduce exposure to blue light, which interferes with sleep. Practice gratitude by reflecting on the good things about your day. These actions inform your body and mind that it’s time to relax and restore. A peaceful bedtime routine improves quality sleep and leaves you refreshed when you wake up.

7. Get Quality Sleep

Sleep is underestimated in its power to influence our health. Not just how much, but how. Create a soothing sleeping space—a low light, cozy bed, and low room temperature. Employ natural therapies like lavender oil or a cup of chamomile tea. Sleep and wake up at the same hour every single day to preserve your circadian rhythm. Sleeping well improves memory, mood, immunity, and even judgment. You work when you sleep.

My Personal Diary Of Daily Routine.

Morning Routine – How I Kick Start My Day?

After waking up at around 7’O clock the first thing that I prefer to do is 10 minutes of simple exercise or stretching that helps me to feel energetic and fuel up my body, after that drinking upto a litre of water to hydrate my body, having some healthy breakfast around 8’O clock and then thinking about a list of things that I have to do during the day.

Mid-day Routine – while in office!

Reaching office and after setting down the things, as I get time during some working hours, I would like to eat some almonds and cashew nuts that I always carry with in my bag as it is known for high Vitamin – E, High fibre, Bone strength, etc. during the lunch time, a balanced meal is the thing that I prefer with some smoothies for weight loss and healthy living.

Evening Routine – taking a minimal break and slowing down.After working for whole day, I used to take a mild break around 5’O clock, to reset mental health as it is very important to release all stress and anxiety of work that it stored during the day. After that having a cup of green tea to detox or evening walk for 5 to 10 minutes is generally what I do to relax my mind.

Night routine – hitting gym and simple practices!

Hitting gym around 7’O clock is the most important thing of my daily routine, which I used to do daily after getting back to home from office. Taking some pre-workout, doing some hard-work and exercises are the things I used to follow. And afterwards having a simple and less cholesterol food at night which includes sprouts, cereals and pulses. Meditating for 5 to 10 minutes before sleep and then having a good night sleep!

Mental & Emotional Self-Care Tips

In addition to physical behaviour, your mental chatter is an important aspect of self-care. Treat yourself with compassion. Do not be overly critical of yourself, and be kind to yourself. Keep your goals realistic and be in touch with your achievements, however insignificant. Permit yourself to experience feelings without criticism—it’s acceptable to have bad days. If necessary, consult a professional. Therapy is a powerful act of self-care and an indication of strength rather than weakness.

Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Others experience guilt if they place themselves first. Yet the truth is that self-care grants you the ability to bring your entire self to your relationships, career, and personal goals. If your cup is full, you can fill up others with gladness and vitality without resentment or exhaustion. Self-care daily builds resilience, improves anxiety management, and promotes more life satisfaction. Self-care reminds you that you deserve your own love, energy, and time.

FAQs on Daily Self-Care Habits

1. Must I take hours of my time to practice self-care?

Yes, self-care does not require taking hours of your time. Even 5-10 minute instances of mindfulness, hydration, stretching, or deep breathing throughout your day can be incredibly powerful. Length is not as important as consistency.

2. Is self-care only physical?

No, self-care is physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual well-being. It includes behaviors like sleeping well, boundary-setting, being grateful, going to therapy, and healthy relationships.

3. What if I feel guilty taking time for myself

Guilt is normal but unwarranted. Self-grooming can be seen as upkeep. You can’t give what you don’t have. Grooming yourself allows you to give your best to other humans without being burned out.

4. How do I start a self-care routine if I’ve never done this before?

Start small. Take one or two self-care routines to begin with, such as increasing water intake or going to bed 30 minutes early. Gradually build upon it as the routines become a part of normal life.

5. Does technology facilitate or detract from self-care?

Both. Meditation, journaling, and tracking habits can be aided by apps. But excessive screen time or disturbing material on the net can drain your energy. Watch out for technology.

6. What are some free self-care things I can do every day?

Take a walk in nature

Do some deep breathing exercises

Create a gratitude list

Meditate or stretch

Leave your screens behind

Drink herbal tea slowly

7. How do I ensure consistency in my self-care practices?Set reminders, link self-care activities to existing habits (e.g., journaling after brushing teeth), or simply use a plain log. Most of all, be kind to yourself if you forget one day—just begin again.

8. Is it okay if my self-care is different from others’?

Absolutely. Self-care is very individualized. What relaxes or energizes one person might not have the same effect on another. Choose activities that actually feel caring to you.

9. What if I am not motivated about taking care of myself?

Start with small, pleasant things. Action tends to come before motivation. Also, recall the reasons why self-care matters—it’s an investment in your health, peace, and happiness.

10. Can therapy be included in daily self-care?

Yes. Therapy is a safe space to think, heal, and become. Even if it’s not daily, regular sessions can really assist with emotional health and are an incredibly empowering means of caring for oneself.

Final Thoughts

Self-care doesn’t require grand gestures or lots of time. It’s in the small, intentional choices you make each day to respect your body, mind, and spirit. By applying these self-care moments throughout your daily routine, you not only improve your well-being but also cultivate a life rooted in balance, purpose, and joy. Start today, start small, and stay consistent. Your future self will thank you.

About the Author

Drunken Den

I am Manoj Devnath, A passionate blogger with a love for mixing drinks—from mocktails and cocktails to mojitos and energy drinks. A devoted food and drink enthusiast, uncovering unique flavors and culinary recipes, sharing insights and inspiration for fellow drink lovers.

Importance of Reaching Out for Help with Mental Illness: Guest Post

by Laiba Noor

picture taken from Pexels

There was a time in my life when I thought I had to deal with everything alone. I believed asking for help was a sign of weakness. I smiled in front of everyone, said “I’m fine” when I wasn’t, and kept pushing through the days with a heavy heart and a tired mind.

But the truth is, mental illness doesn’t go away by pretending it doesn’t exist. Additionally, attempting to carry it all alone only makes the weight appear to be heavier.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Mental illness can make you feel isolated, like you’re the only one struggling while the world keeps spinning. But you’re not alone, even if it feels like it sometimes. Reaching out for help isn’t a sign of defeat, it’s a sign of courage. It indicates that you have a strong desire to heal yourself. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, or anything in between, talking to someone, seeking support, and getting the help you need can be life-changing.

Why Asking for Help Matters

When you reach out, you open the door to understanding, support, and real healing. Mental illness is not a personal failure. It’s not your fault. When we hurt our minds, we ought to get help, just as we do when we break a bone. Here’s what asking for help can do:

Eliminate the silence in which mental illness thrives. When everything seems hazy, offer clarity. Connect yourself to people who understand and can guide you. Begin the journey to better mental health and inner peace.

Support Can Come in Many Forms

You don’t always have to speak to a therapist right away (though that’s a great option). Support can come from:

• A trusted friend or family member.

• An online or offline support group.

• Mental health hotlines or helplines.

• Professional counselors or psychologists

The first step is always the hardest, but once you take it, the road begins to clear bit by bit.

What Help Looked Like for Me

For me, help came in a message. I reached out to someone close and said, “I’m not okay.” That moment changed everything. I wasn’t judged. I was heard. That was the beginning of my healing. And from there, I slowly started to find strength again.

Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation. Therapy or medication are other options. But no matter what it looks like getting help works.

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Please know, if you are reading this and struggling in silence: You won’t be alone. You are not damaged. You are not weak for requiring assistance. Reaching out may feel scary, but it’s the first step toward light, peace, and healing. You deserve that.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please talk to someone. Help is always available. You are not a burden. You are loved. 💙

Meet the Author:

Must Read Post on Signs of Mental Illness

Signs You’ve Lived with Anxiety, Depression, or PTSD Without Knowing It

I found the blog post above through Facebook! It really is a gem, and I relate to it so much! For a very long time I was going through depression and thought it was normal, just how I was. I was very wrong. It is not normal, and I needed help badly. Take a look at the above post, and if you feel like you relate to it, please know it is ok to seek out help.

I’m on Tiny Buddha!!

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my blog! I’m so excited to share this news with all you! As you can tell from the title, I’m on Tiny Buddha!I’m sure Tiny Buddha needs no introduction! It is a popular blog that has been around since 2009! Wow! I admire the founder Lori Deschene and her work on Tiny Buddha, and I admire the fact that she allows others to share their wisdom and stories on the blog as well! When I reached out to Ms. Deschene, I was surprised and delighted that she actually responded! She was very kind and her responses were swift! It’s truly an honor to be featured on her blog Tiny Buddha!

To be featured on Tiny Buddha, your post should be at least one thousand words. My style of blogging is writing long posts, but I don’t usually write posts that reach one thousand words! I’m so proud of myself! I’m particularly happy with this post, and hope you all take something away from it. To read the post, visit Tiny Buddha! My post is called Lessons from a Late Bloomer Who Wanted to Be Famous! You can also click here.

Thankyou for visiting me! Until next time!

– Charli