Fall is around the corner! It’s the season of colorful leaves and pumpkin spice flavored lattes and sweets, and the beginning of of a new school year for children and college students (in fact, today is the first day back to school for some children!)! If I had to pick a favorite season I would have to say winter. There’s a special type of “warmth” surrounding that time of year. However, there is also something special about the fall season too, especially for my family.
Thanksgiving is even more special to my family than Christmas. On Christmas Day we’re usually too wrapped up in our gifts to pay attention to each other! That was especially the case when my siblings and I were children! During the thanksgiving holiday, we spend a lot of our time with each other, and I’m not just talking about when we gather to eat thanksgiving dinner. From the food shopping to preparing the thanksgiving meal, everything is done together, and we always enjoy every minute.
When the meal is finally ready and we gather around the table, we all take turns saying what are grateful for. We aren’t usually overly affectionate with one another, especially with words or touch (although we always show our love for each other through our actions), but we get very sentimental when saying what we are grateful for. In that moment, we hold nothing back on saying how much we appreciate each other. We also spend time reminiscing on all the good times we’ve had together so far, and talking about our plans to create many more wonderful memories. By the end of the day, we are generally very exhausted, but happy.
In short, fall is the bonding season for us, and I always look forward to this time of year! That’s what makes fall special to me! Welcome to the Fall season everyone! I hope you all enjoy the season this year as much as I know I will!
“I was here, I lived, I loved I was here, I did, I’ve done everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here”
Beyoncé “I Was Here”
Image taken from Pixabay
I listen to the news a lot. I like to stay in the know on what’s going on in the world around me. It’s a habit I picked up from my parents. However, there are times when I’ve had my fill. There’s always a never ending amount of heartbreaking stories in the news, and there’s only so much of those stories I can take. On occasion though, there are times when I come across really funny or heartwarming stories. One that I remember in particular is a story about a pay it forward train in a restaurant. One day, after paying for his own bill, a man paid for the meals of another set of customers, a mother and daughter. The mother never got a chance to know who made the kind gesture, but the mother decided to follow the anonymous kind stranger’s example and pay it forward. The recipients of that mother’s generosity decided to do the same. This continued until the pay it forward gesture had been repeated several times by several customers.
It is part of human nature for us to feel the need to leave some footprints in the sand, something that we will be remembered by. We all want to leave a legacy, and we all have our different ways of accomplishing this. We also have different ideas of how we want to be remembered. Some decide to become world leaders, others try to become celebrities, and there are also those who choose to go the infamous route, committing crimes to gain fame.
Many monuments have always been built in honor of rulers or leaders, and you can find many of their faces on currency. Celebrities get similar treatment, with one example being the Hollywood walk of fame in the U.S. Also, many cities, towns, and streets are often named after famous people. The infamous have many books written about them, and many movies made about their lives to tell their stories.
You don’t have to be famous to make an impact, however. Everyone’s actions leave behind footprints. We all impact each other, and we have the power to choose the type of impression we leave on others. Simple actions are all it takes to leave a mark. A listening ear, a hug, or a simple kind greeting can mean the world to someone. After all, fame doesn’t always lead to happiness, and there are many famous people whose works are lost in history. Fame also doesn’t last forever. Many stars eventually fall into obscurity. Beauty and fame, along with many other things, eventually fade, but a loving heart never does. Kindness is not affected by time, and it is infectious. One kind act can lead to another until it starts a chain like the one from the restaurant. The name of the person who started the chain may never be known and may get lost with time, but their deed, and the effect it had on someone, can live on forever.
I love writing and I run a blog. I’ve gotten good grades through my time in school, especially in college. I’m also a very hard worker. All of these are important facts about me. My most important attribute though is my desire to treat everyone how I would like to be treated. I want to be a person that shows kindness and compassion and spreads them, and that is how I want to be remembered.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
My Dad and I started watching a new show while we ate breakfast yesterday. The show is called Hanna, and it’s an Amazon original. The show takes place in Europe, and it’s about an extraordinary girl named Hanna who is being chased by the CIA. Throughout the show, she tries to figure out why the government wants her, and the truth about who she is. It is definitely an interesting show, and it reminded me of the Netflix original Stranger Things, and a little of the Bourne movie series.
My Dad and I got hooked on the show, and by the time we looked around, we had spent hours watching several episodes. My Dad felt horrible about the amount of time we “wasted”. He doesn’t usually binge on shows. He believes it’s not healthy, and that there are more constructive activities one could be doing with his or her time. After each episode we watched, my Dad kept saying “This is the last one”. I laughed as the next episode came on. Despite his worry about wasting time, my Dad and I definitely enjoyed ourselves as we laughed at some scenes of the show, and jumped and held our breath at others. My Dad said he usually doesn’t get time to enjoy himself like that. He’s always working very hard. Now that summer has rolled around again though, he can relax a little.
Summer officially began on June 21. My Dad was so excited, and talked with me about the plans he had for the family. He was definitely ready for a break! Our relaxation and tv time on Sunday was just the beginning of our Summer fun. When my Dad told me about his concerns on wasting time while we watched Hanna, I told him that it’s not bad to slow down every once in a while. Besides, he deserved it. To be honest though, I also felt a like I was wasting time a little. My talk with my Dad made me think about my blog, and I felt bad spending time way from working on it. I work hard on my blog just about every day. Writing posts is only one part of the journey. A blogger also has to work on promotion and networking, website customization, etc. Needless to say, it’s not easy work (you know what I’m talking about fellow bloggers)! My blog isn’t the only activity that gets this kind of attention from me. I’m this way with just about every task and job I am given. I think I inherited that trait from my Dad! My siblings are always reminding him that it’s ok to take a break from time to time, and they tend to do the same with me! They are right. There’s nothing wrong with dropping everything once in a while to rejuvenate yourself, and I was reminded of this while watching Hanna with my Dad. I told him my thoughts, and he agreed. We were definitely happy for the break!
I don’t have specific plans for the summer, only that I plan on enjoying myself and time with my loved ones! I also definitely plan on getting some relaxation time in too! I hope all of you enjoy your summer as well, and remember to get some rest and relaxation too!
I am so excited to be collaborating with Nadine from Home of Understanding! We both started blogging just this year, and our blogs cover very similar topics. She’s incredibly creative and full of ideas! Her blog is amazing and you should definitely read her other posts! Give her a visit here. Nadine offered the idea of collaborating after we visited each other’s blogs, and I jumped on the opportunity! She told me she’s been thinking of writing about body image issues for a while, and mentioned the idea of writing about what often goes through a person’s mind as he or she looks at him/herself through a mirror. We both agreed it’s an amazing idea, and started working on the project right away! For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with developing a positive self image. There have been many times when I’ve looked in the mirror and saw so many things I would like to change. For this collaboration, we are exploring the voice of self loathing, or “the devil”, that we often hear in our heads when judging ourselves, and the “angel”, whose uplifting voice is often ignored. Our goal through this project is to help our readers realize that you are perfect the way you are. Don’t listen to your inner ”devil” thoughts. Focus on the voice of the “angel”, and embrace your unique beauty.
The voice of the “Devil”:
There are so many flaws to point out. When are you going to lose all that weight? Maybe you can skip a meal today. Look at all those blemishes on your face. You shouldn’t go outside without makeup. Your chest and rear end are so small. Maybe you should consider implants. Your nose is a funny shape. You should consider getting that fixed too. You also need to work on getting in control of the pimples on your thighs and the hair on your arms. Plus, it would be nice if you could do something about that curved back of yours. That’s not attractive. Beauty is important to a woman, and can get her far. Don’t hesitate to do what’s needed for you to be considered beautiful.
Can you relate to those words? Do you find yourself saying similar comments about your appearance whenever you look into the mirror? Visit Nadine’s Post, Body Image – A Dialogue to read what the “angel” has to say.
Five Facts about Body Image Issues and Mental Health
– The term for when someone obsesses over perceived flaws in his or her appearance is called Body Dysmorphia. It is considered an official psychological disorder. Bjornsson, Andri S, et al.
– Body Dysmorphia was called dysmorphophobia when it was first documented. The name was changed to Body Dysmorphia in 1987, the same year it was recognized as an official psychological condition. 17 Scarey Body Dysmorphic Disorder Statistics
– Before television was introduced in the country of Fiji in the 1990s there were no documented cases of eating disorders. Sixty five teenage girls were followed for three years for a study during the introduction of television in the country. Around twelve percent of the girls developed eating disorder symptoms 1 month into the study, and around 29% developed symptoms after 3 years. The Body Project: Facilitator Fact Sheet
– In the United States, around 2.5% in males, and in 2.2 % of females, have BDD. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)
– In the United States, January is Mental Wellness Month, May is Mental Health Month, and the first week of October is Mental Illness Awareness Week. World Mental Health Day is October 10. Who We Are.
“Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).” Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA, adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd.
When Avengers: End Game was released a relative of mine went to a theater right away to watch it. After seeing it, he couldn’t help bragging about seeing the movie before me. Avengers: End Game marks the end of a phase for the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe). Many of the super heroes we’ve enjoyed watching will not be returning to the big screen, or at least not anytime soon. Watching the these characters be brought to life by talented actors and actresses has been amazing, however, there is one person in my life who is my superhero.
If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you might have noticed that I mention my father quite often. We have a very close relationship. Yes, I am very much I daddy’s girl. My father was still quite young when he had me, and was still trying build himself up. However, my father still managed to give me one of the most important things a parent can ever give his or her child: time. Many nights my Dad stayed up late trying to calm me after a nightmare despite how busy he was. I have many wonderful memories of my Dad and I enjoying each other’s company while watching a movie, or spending time at a park. Any events I can’t remember were captured in pictures. My father never failed to be around and have a camera ready during special or spontaneous moments. Anytime I felt was in any type of trouble (feeling sick while at school or being bullied) I was able to reach him anytime, and just like a superhero he was by my side in a flash. My father never failed to make me feel safe and loved. I wanted to be just like him when I reached adulthood myself, and be the type of parent to any future children I might have that he was to me. I don’t know how my father managed, and that’s why he was, and still is, my superhero. Here’s what others have to say about their fathers/superheroes:
Dayma Garcia – Motivational, Lifestyle, and Mental Health Blogger at Women Undefined
“My dad has been more there for me when it has really counted, whenever I have been in any rut he’s the one that has gotten me out, I don’t have many memories of my childhood with him but when it mattered, he was there, I love him & wouldn’t change anything”
“When I was 15 we escaped the Gulf War. My Dad brought 30 people out of Kuwait by his courage and his smarts. Every other man there was scared and lost and no idea what to do and looked to my Dad for guidance. I don’t think we would have made it out without him and God’s help.”
Gina – Lifestyle and Travel Blogger at CultureBean
“He knows how to make me laugh. That’s the remedy to so many things. We have the same sense of humor and can talk for days. Then there’s general life hacks like fixing my flat and (the biggie) my car e.t.c.” 😂
“Oh I wish my dad and my grand daddy where still alive. I was surely a daddy baby!” 🥰🥰🥰
Lisa Mitchell – Lifestyle and Book Review Blogger at Fluxing Well
“My dad is a superhero because, despite the pain he is in from multiple joint replacements, he’s always positive and encouraging to others.”🌻
Stephanie – Lifestyle and Mental Health Blogger at A Red Hair Girl
“My dad always seems to be able to fix everything. Mr. Fixit, we call/called him. He also has a great sense of humor and it’s fun to spend time with him!”
Millie – Lifestyle and Book Review Blogger at MSB Life
“My Dad is a superhero to me because prompted me to think differently about things but also the stories he would make up for us and the jokes – those are things you never forget” 🙂
Melissa Temple – Travel and Disability Blogger at Disabled Disney
“My dad wasn’t my hero per se! But I have pretty severe depression and anxiety and he was the only person who could calm me down. He passed away in 2007. I miss him so much!”
“I never really knew my Dad growing up. In fact Fathers Day is tough one for me. My first son died and his funeral was the day after Father’s Day. My husband carried our son’s coffin. My husband is superman. He is the strongest man I know carrying his sons coffin” x
Eunice Tossy – Lifestyle and Christian Blogger at A Bible Girl
“He is the reason and motivation behind everything I do.. He has given me everything I could ever wish for and the love, care and trust is incomparable”
Liz – Lifestyle Blogger and Influencer at Mummy Overload
“My step was my super hero…. He was always there when I needed him and called me his little Chelsea girl. We did everything together. Holidays where the best with him and he was so funny. Used to do all these little silly things. He was also the best grandad ever. He passed away 6 years ago but will always be my superhero”
“Although I don’t much about him because he passed on when I was really young. The idea of him is home, it gives me comfort and security. He is still my super hero because I know no matter how I turned out he would have been proud of me.”
“You don’t need to lose any weight, you look lovely…you’ll feel better about it tomorrow, and I don’t know why I bother, so come and give your old dad a kiss.”
“My dad worked really hard to provide for my twin sister and I as a single parent. He tried to make every event but sometimes work made him miss it. When I think back though he did the best he could to provide everything and more for us. He is now doing the same for his grandchildren.”
Thankyou for all of your touching contributions about your fathers! I and my contributors hope everyone reading this post enjoys father’s day! If you are a father, whether you’re a biological father, step father, adoptive father, god father, foster father, or a father figure, Happy Father’s Day from all of us!
This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. I had many wonderful teachers who had a huge role in shaping who I am today. However, if I had to pick one teacher who made the biggest impact in my life, I would have to pick my first grade teacher. Let’s call her Miss. Z.
When I was a child I had a terrible attention span. That’s the case for most children, but my attention span was short even for a child. I was easily distracted by anything. Instead of listening to my teacher, I would play with whatever might be in my hands, or I would turn my attention to what’s going on outside if I happened to be near a window. Sometimes it would be so bad that I would be daydreaming the whole class time and forget to write down the homework. My mother would get furious whenever that happened! Both my parents and teacher started to worry about me. Miss. Z started working on ways to help me, such as giving me extra attention. She also collaborated with my parents. For instance, she would have my parents sit in class with me. My parents also tried to do their part by helping me at home. Miss. Z suggested timing me while I did my homework, which is exactly what my parents did. Miss. Z recognized that I needed a lot of help, but she didn’t lower her expectations for me. She didn’t ignore my struggles, and believed that with help I could be just as successful as my peers.
All of the intervention helped. My attention span is still not great, but it has improved tremendously since elementary school. I am very grateful for Miss. Z. Here in the U.S., a teacher’s job is not easy, especially if the teacher is working in a public school. Many classrooms in public schools have classes with around 30 students. It is not easy to pay attention to that many children. Also, the work load can be very heavy. On top of planning lessons the teacher has to grade the classroom assignments, homework assignments, projects, and tests of around 30 students. The teaching profession also doesn’t receive as much respect as some other professions. These are some of the few reasons many teachers here in America often leave the profession behind after a short while. In fact, statistics show that around 50 percent of new teachers leave the profession within their first five years, and around 52 percent of current American public school teachers have 10 or less years of teaching experience.
However, teaching is a very significant profession. Pretty much every other profession starts with a teacher. Whatever profession a person is in he or she needed to learn how to do his or her job, and the person who taught him or her was a teacher. Also, a teacher’s job is not just to teach. In the case of children, the teacher is like a second parent, and spends the most time with his or her students outside of the parents. It is the teacher’s job to pay close attention to the students and notice anything out of the ordinary. A child may be going through abuse at home, or might have a disability (the latter was the case for me), and it is part of a teacher’s job to catch these possibilities. If a child is struggling at home or is struggling with a disability, the child will also struggle to learn.
Despite all the hardships that come along with the teaching profession, my teacher Miss. Z still managed to notice my struggles, and give me the attention I needed to overcome them. I appreciate her and teachers like her who genuinely care about their students and take their jobs seriously. To all teachers here in the U.S. and around the world, Happy Teacher’s Appreciation Week!
When I was a small girl, I was told about a young woman whose house burst into flames. While trying to escape, the woman’s only concern was her infant daughter. The baby girl came out of the ordeal just fine. The woman was not as fortunate. She suffered severe burns from the fire that left terrible scars. As the baby girl grew older, she started to become ashamed of her mother. She always avoided carrying friends over to her house. Her mother eventually died one day, and it wasn’t until then when the girl realized how much she took her mother for granted. It wasn’t until then when she was reminded that her mother only had terrible scars because of her desire to protect her daughter.
My parents told me that story, and it was was only one of many discussions I had with my parents that reminded me not to take anything precious in my life for granted. Another incident was when I was talking with my father while we were listening to the radio. A commercial for 1-800-flowers played suddenly, and after the commercial finished my father asked “Do you know when they make the most money outside of valentine’s day?”
“No.” I answered.
“Mother’s day.” he said.
He went onto tell me that he would have to do his research to know if he was actually correct, but he was sure that mother’s day was one of the times in the year that brought in a lot of money for companies like 1-800-flowers. The reason he mentioned for this was he believes a lot of adults wait until Mother’s Day to show affection to their mothers. We are sometimes too busy to give any attention to our parents, so Mother’s Day is one of those special days to do so. However, even on Mother’s Day some of us wouldn’t set time aside to spend with our mothers. We would simply order some flowers from a company like 1-800-flowers, and have them sent to our mothers.
This new week marks the end of April, and Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Every day is Mother’s Day in my book. Here’s a little reminder to reach out and show some appreciation to the mothers in our lives. If you are a mother reading this, whether you’re a biological mother, an adoptive mother, a step mother, or a foster mother, happy Mother’s Day from Life with Charli!
I made a new friend recently. I was invited to a function by a relative. I’m a bit of an introvert, but since I really wanted to support my relative I made an effort to show up. I’m usually shy around unfamiliar people, so I was nervous about going to the function. However, as soon as I started talking with one of my relative’s friends, she made the butterflies fly away almost instantly. She was so friendly that I felt very comfortable talking with her.
Part of the reason I get nervous when meeting new people is that sometimes I feel they will automatically think the worst of me. I’m afraid that I might leave a bad first impression. My social anxiety can sometimes be so bad that I like to avoid group meetings if I can help it. I also tend to spend hours picking an outfit for a simple, casual meeting. To top it all off, my brain would often go into overdrive trying to figure out what was going on in the mind of someone I just met. I find myself thinking that he or she probably found me weird or awkward, and might not be interested in getting to know me. Maybe I did something the person found odd or offensive. My family members often try to reassure me that most likely not one of those thoughts are in the heads of most people I meet.
In my last post, I talked about judging others before getting to know them. We often make a lot of assumptions about others based on their outward characteristics. For instance, if one sees a woman covered in diamonds, he or she would assume the woman is rich. I’ve come to realize that these are not the only types of assumptions we make, however. We also make assumptions about how others might perceive us. In my case, I sometimes assume everyone will quickly judge me before getting to know me. By doing so I sometimes don’t give others a chance at building a relationship with me, because I put up a wall. I feel the need to guard myself.
Talking with my relative’s friend helped me to step out of my comfort zone a little more. Even a couple of minutes after the function had already ended, we continued to enjoy each other’s company. We even discussed arranging a meeting sometime in the near future. That day, I was reminded that while there are those who might judge me without fully knowing me, not everyone is that way. I was reminded that not every person is the same, and that’s why I should give people I meet a chance, especially if that’s the same treatment I expect from them.
“We hire Shaun and we give hope to…people with limitations that those limitations are not what they think they are, that they do have a shot!”
Dr. Aaron Glassman The Good Doctor Episode 1 Season 1
I’m a little late to joining the bandwagon as the show is already in its second season, but I started watching a show called The Good Doctor. For those who don’t know, the show is about a man named Shaun Murphy who is a surgeon. He also happens to be a man with autism. I’ve been really enjoying the show so far, and was inspired to tell me story about my own experiences as a person with a disability.
There is one word to covers the two reactions people with disabilities generally receive: doubt. There is either doubt in the person’s capabilities, or there is doubt that the person has a disability at all. In the show The Good Doctor, Shaun Murphy fits into the first category. His memory, visual spatial skills, and analytical skills are far above average. He is an asset to the hospital he is working in. However, many of his coworkers can’t see past his very apparent disability. I, on the other hand, fit into the latter category. My disability is invisible, and I often find myself having to prove that I actually am a person with a disability.
From the time I was a small girl, it was apparent to everyone in my inner circle that I was a little different from my peers. Spend enough time me, and one would definitely be able to see my deficits, but only if that person is paying close attention.
“You don’t seem like a person with a disability to me”, a friend once told me.
Little did she know that it’s that same sentiment that often makes it difficult for me to get the help I need. The specific kind of disability I have is learning disability. There are different kinds of learning disabilities, and most of them are language based. That means people with those types of learning disabilities have trouble with spoken or written communication. The most well known language based learning disability is dyslexia. Communication is not a problem for me though. In fact, I’ve been told that I express myself very well, especially through writing.
For me, the problem lies in processing. Many activities that might take other people minutes to complete can take hours for me, however, this would not be easy to notice through mere minutes of conversation with me.
“I wish I had your brain.”, a classmate from college once told me. She did not understand that it was not a superior intellect that made me successful during my time in college. It was my work ethic and perseverance that made me successful. Like any other person, I work extremely hard for what I want, and in some cases I have to put in even more effort than the average person.
For Shaun Murphy from The Good Doctor, his disability is front and center for those who meet him, and masks his capabilities. They don’t take the time to understand him and realize that his disability is only one part of who he is. That is a reality for many people with disability. In my case, people don’t take the time to understand that some disabilities are invisible, and you never know what someone might be going through. My take away from the show The Good Doctor and my experiences is that we might all have our different stories to tell, but there is one thing that connects us: the desire to be understood.
“The only children you should concern yourself with are…your own.”
“I’m…not ready to have children”
“Maybe you haven’t met the right man…oh Belle, do you know what happens to spinsters in this village after their father’s die? They beg for scraps like poor Agathe!”
Belle and Gaston, Beauty and the Beast (2017)
I won’t be telling my age, but I will tell you I’m no spring chicken! As I’ve been getting older, I have been reminded numerous times that I need to hurry up and get married already! There is definitely a stigma on older, single women. As women get older our value seems to decrease. We are less desirable, and constantly reminded that the clock is ticking. When the news of singer Cassie’s breakup with rapper and entrepreneur Diddy spread last year, many fans expressed frustration at the fact that Cassie was leaving an almost 10 year long relationship without a ring or any children. In other words, she didn’t get anything out of the long relationship, and she wasted so many years of her life. Last year was also when actress Gabriel Union shared her story on her struggle with a condition called endometriosis, saying that many people assumed she didn’t have children yet because she put off starting a family in favor of her career. She waited too long. Turns out this was very far from the truth. Children and marriage are beautiful things. However, they are not the end all be all of a woman’s life. To all my single ladies, there is nothing wrong with dreaming of starting family one day, but as you wait for your Prince Charming, here are some tips to help you enjoy the single life (to any single men who might be reading this, welcome! Maybe this blog post might benefit you too!):
Build Self Love
If you’re looking to get married, dating is a very important part of the process. It would be a mistake to rush into a relationship for wrong reasons. Your relationship status does not define your worth. If you just got out of a relationship, don’t feel you need to rush into the next one to feel worth and to feel loved. For those women who are older, don’t feel you like your value is decreasing because your age. Take the time while your are single to build confidence and self-love. Before declaring love for someone else, start with yourself.
Take Time for Discovery
Have you ever tried playing an instrument? Drawing? Painting? Knitting? Now is the time to try any one of these activities, or all of them if you want! There are many others activities to try as well! Don’t travel much? Now is the time to go wherever you want! Marriage and children are blessings, but your life changes drastically after becoming a spouse, and even more so after becoming a parent. If you are single right now, don’t spend your time feeling depressed over not having a spouse and children. Don’t feel jealous of all of those around you getting married and starting a family. Use this time to explore any hidden talents, or expand on talents you already know you have. I’m actually taking my own advice with my blog!
Romance can happen at any age. If you’re an older woman, don’t think it’s too late for you because you’re no longer in your prime, and don’t let your age push you into a quick relationship. Whether you are a man, woman, old, young, you have value. Take the time while you’re single to realize that!
Life with Charli 