Single and Embracing it

“All I wanted was to teach a child to read.”

“The only children you should concern yourself with are…your own.”

“I’m…not ready to have children”

“Maybe you haven’t met the right man…oh Belle, do you know what happens to spinsters in this village after their father’s die? They beg for scraps like poor Agathe!”

Belle and Gaston, Beauty and the Beast (2017)

I won’t be telling my age, but I will tell you I’m no spring chicken! As I’ve been getting older, I have been reminded numerous times that I need to hurry up and get married already! There is definitely a stigma on older, single women. As women get older our value seems to decrease. We are less desirable, and constantly reminded that the clock is ticking. When the news of singer Cassie’s breakup with rapper and entrepreneur Diddy spread last year, many fans expressed frustration at the fact that Cassie was leaving an almost 10 year long relationship without a ring or any children. In other words, she didn’t get anything out of the long relationship, and she wasted so many years of her life. Last year was also when actress Gabriel Union shared her story on her struggle with a condition called endometriosis, saying that many people assumed she didn’t have children yet because she put off starting a family in favor of her career. She waited too long. Turns out this was very far from the truth. Children and marriage are beautiful things. However, they are not the end all be all of a woman’s life. To all my single ladies, there is nothing wrong with dreaming of starting family one day, but as you wait for your Prince Charming, here are some tips to help you enjoy the single life (to any single men who might be reading this, welcome! Maybe this blog post might benefit you too!):

Build Self Love

If you’re looking to get married, dating is a very important part of the process. It would be a mistake to rush into a relationship for wrong reasons. Your relationship status does not define your worth. If you just got out of a relationship, don’t feel you need to rush into the next one to feel worth and to feel loved. For those women who are older, don’t feel you like your value is decreasing because your age. Take the time while your are single to build confidence and self-love. Before declaring love for someone else, start with yourself.

Take Time for Discovery

Have you ever tried playing an instrument? Drawing? Painting? Knitting? Now is the time to try any one of these activities, or all of them if you want! There are many others activities to try as well! Don’t travel much? Now is the time to go wherever you want! Marriage and children are blessings, but your life changes drastically after becoming a spouse, and even more so after becoming a parent. If you are single right now, don’t spend your time feeling depressed over not having a spouse and children. Don’t feel jealous of all of those around you getting married and starting a family. Use this time to explore any hidden talents, or expand on talents you already know you have. I’m actually taking my own advice with my blog! 

Romance can happen at any age. If you’re an older woman, don’t think it’s too late for you because you’re no longer in your prime, and don’t let your age push you into a quick relationship. Whether you are a man, woman, old, young, you have value. Take the time while you’re single to realize that!


4 thoughts on “Single and Embracing it

  1. These points are so true! While I’m happily married and have been for a few years now, I am an ovarian cancer survivor and having children isn’t in the cards for me. Yet, I can’t count how many times I’ve had people ask me when we’re going to have a baby… and it never fails to sting a little each time with the reminder. We need to stop putting our beliefs, choices and expectations on everyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Britt K! Wow ! Thankyou for telling me your story! I’m so happy that you were able to get through that difficult ordeal! I know dealing with cancer must not have been easy at all. Hopefully it is behind you now! Interestingly enough I’m also unable to have children, but for a different reason. Your story shows how careful we need to be before we say things. Asking a woman when she and her husband are finally going to have a baby might not seem harmful, but we never know what someone else is going through. What if the woman can’t have children? What if she doesn’t plan on having any? Every woman is different.


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