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TRIGGER WARNING: This Post Contains content that might be hard for some to read. Please take caution and take care of yourselves.
This is a Guest post by fellow blogger Rae over at Rea’s Second Chances . I recently met her through Facebook, and was really moved and inspired by her posts. Rae’s focus on her blog and social media is encouraging people to get help with mental illness. I talk a lot about mental health on my blog, so I thought Rae and I should share our stories with mental illness on each other’s blogs. Read her powerful piece below:
I’ve been dealing with ptsd ever since I was about 7 or 8 years old. Right around the time my mom tried to kill herself I believe it started. But it wasn’t until I was older and she fell and broke her leg that I realized I was utterly afraid of losing her. I worried about it constantly, mostly out of nowhere. I’d be scared I’d come from school and she would be dead. It was very unhealthy and yet I kept it to myself for years. I will never forget the pounding sounds my heart made, how sweaty my hands would feel and the urge to vomit as we opened the door after school. It wasn’t just then,it was when she was at work or honestly anytime we were separated. Now looking back it consumed me a lot more than it should have.
What is PTSD?
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a traumatic , scary, or dangerous situation. The body and even the brain can change when exposed to any kind of trauma, such as combat, accidents, domestic violence,sexually assault, and even global pandemics. Often we experience something so terrifying or stressful that our brains can’t make sense of what has happened to us. Due to us not being able to move through the second stage of processing, our brain return us to the exact same emotional and physical state as when the traumatic event occurred, especially when we are triggered.
My fears of losing my momma eventually came true in 2008 and that day forever lives in my head. For years I denied that I was still living through that day. I Denied that I could possibly have ptsd and be harming myself more by denying it was happening. I would cry and literally feel like I was drowning in grief over her. I’d cry so hard I’d hyperventilate which then caused a panic attack. The anger,denial and reliving the days leading up were complete torture. The thought of being labeled with a mental illness was frightening. So I did what most people do and I kept it to myself.
There is such a stigma on mental health issues that people don’t feel comfortable coming forward. But you have to be able to notice the symptoms and notice when it’s time to seek help. Symptoms might include feeling numb, experiencing nightmares or flashbacks, and being particularly sensitive to loud noises to name a few. Sudden outburst of Anger,sadness and hopeless are also symptoms. Living in sadness and trauma is never the answer to healing. There are options and you have to find what works best for you. Everyone isn’t the same so rather it’s talking to someone, journaling or taking medication just make sure your doing what will help heal your soul.
About Rae: Rea is a mental health blogger whose focus is on sharing her experiences with addiction and domestic violence. She uses her platform to inspire those with addiction and other mental illnesses on their journey to wellness.. Click here to visit her blog.
Call 988, The National Suicide Prevention Hotline in the United States, if you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or if you know someone who does. Please check for the number of the Crisis Prevention hotline in your country if you don’t live in the United States
Life with Charli 