April 2023 – Life with Charli

Consistency and Struggles

Some may I have noticed that I’ve been pretty inconsistent with my activity on my blog. There have been periods when I’ve been pretty inactive. I was really active when I first started my blog. This is because during that time I was taking a break from school, so I had a lot of time on my hands. I enjoy writing and wanted to share my thoughts, so I decided I would like to start a blog.

The blog started going pretty well, and I was having a lot of fun. Until I had to go back to school. Everyone knows how demanding college can be. It’s particularly demanding for me, so I needed to put all of my focus into school. That meant my blog had to take a back seat. Since College can be very hard, there is no doubt I had my own specific challenges.

One particular challenge in school stood out to me. It was during a term when I was taking a writing class. The end of that term was particularly stressful. I struggled to manage preparing for exams I was supposed to take and the paper I was supposed to write for the class. By the time the paper was due, I still wasn’t ready to turn it in. I decided to go to class with an unfinished paper and ask the professor for more time.

I was nervous enough going to class with an unfinished essay, so you can just imagine how nervous I was to ask for more time to complete the essay. However, I sucked up my anxiety and pulled out the courage to approach my professor at the end of class. Unfortunately, my professor said no. I left the classroom defeated, and went into a bathroom stall for a little privacy. As soon as I stepped into the stall, a wave of emotions started crashing down on me, and I couldn’t hold back my tears. All kinds of catastrophic thoughts started flooding my head. What if I fail the class now? What if it brings down my GPA? What if I can’t get into get into the career I want because of that bad grade? I saw a string of failures ahead of me, and felt completely hopeless.

As I cried and terrible thoughts overwhelmed me, I closed eyes and prayed. When I finally managed to stop crying, I left the bathroom and ran into none other the my writing professor. I decided right then that there was nothing I could do about the situation but ask my professor what my grade would look like without the the essay. Her response surprised me.

“Take the weekend”, she said.

Relief instantly hit me. It seemed my prayer was answered. I gave my Professor a genuine and heartfelt thanks.

There are two lessons I took away from this experience. The first is that God always comes through for you. The second I learned later through therapy, and that lesson is one bad situation doesn’t mean the end of the world. Doing poorly on the final paper didn’t mean I would have failed the class, and even if I failed the class that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to go into the career I wanted. Plus, even if I were to have trouble getting into a particular career, there are other options. There are always options and always a solution. When one door closes, another always opens, and the door that was closed was closed shut for a reason. You weren’t meant to go through that door.

So, whatever struggle you might be going through, dear reader, know that you can and will get through it. Until next time.

Dealing with a Keloid

I have mentioned many times on my blog that I have a condition called Turner syndrome. In a recent post, I mentioned my condition eventually led to surgery. Turner syndrome can lead to a lot of complications. One of them is problems with the thyroid gland. That was an issue for me.

I recently had surgery because of issues with my thyroid gland. The surgery ended up leaving a small keloid. The suggestion was given on how to deal with a keloid was through a steroid injection. Cutting out the keloid would only cause a keloid to grow back. So I’ve been getting injections to lower the keloid for a while now.

The doctor has to put the needle right in the keloid, and yes, they hurt a lot. The first time is especially painful, because the keloid is tough. As you continue to get injections, the keloid softens and the injections become less painful. Even with the help I’m getting though, even the doctor admits there is only so much that can be done. I will still have a scar. That’s ok though, because my scar tells my story. So I’m not ashamed of it.

Turner Syndrome and Disability

So I’ve recently been denied a service for people with disabilities. This wouldn’t be the first time, but that doesn’t make this situation any less frustrating. I’ve mentioned on my blog before that I am a person with a disability. The problem is that my disability is very unclear. I have an invisible disability, and often others can’t understand what exactly is wrong with me. My physical and intellectual abilities seem to be very much intact. What could I possibly need with disability services, right? Sometimes I even question whether or not I am a person with a disability myself because of all the doubt around me. However, while people are deciding whether or not I am actually a person with a disability, my struggles are very much real, and I deal with them everyday.

I’ve talked about the condition that I have on my blog many times. I have a genetic disorder called Turner syndrome, and it’s the reason for my struggles. Having Turner syndrome does not automatically make a person disabled, however, it can lead to disability. Tuner syndrome can lead to many complications. One of those complications is learning disability. Unfortunately, this fact is not very well known, because Turner syndrome is not well known. Also, girls with Turner syndrome can lead normal lives with proper treatment. However, every girl with Turner syndrome’s experience is different, and some do struggle more than others.

Another issue is the type of disability that girls with Turner syndrome sometimes have. Turner syndrome can lead to nonverbal learning disability. This means they can have issues with visual-spatial skills. Unfortunately, nonverbal learning disability is still not recognized as an official disorder.

All of these combined issues make it hard for me to get the services I need. People simply don’t understand my struggles, and don’t understand why I need help. What is really needed is more awareness on both Turner syndrome and nonverbal learning disability. What is also very needed is an understanding that every person’s experience is different. Not every person with a disability has a disability that is obvious.